Looking back I thought the six years of marriage wouldn't be like this...granted I am happy for every moment we have had together but I thought six years would be different. I thought I would have 3 or 4 kids by now. Certainly God has His reasons for having Dh and I wait and go through so many procedures. It really hasn't been easy and looking back I would say infertility really took a toll on a lot of the years we were married. I think it has made us better friends for having to suffer together. Not that I wish for any other couple to have to go that. HE** no! The ups and DOWNS of infertility can be just crushing!!!!
I meant for this post about our Anniversary to be a more cheerful topic but 5 1/2 years of our marriage IF was a major heartache. I wouldn't change a minute of our time spent together becuase it has made us who we are today.
This year is different though. Every anniversary I have had I have felt sick about not being able to conceive. I think this evening's celebration will be far different; with joy and anticipation for the years to come spent with our little one. This pregnancy is a gift and possibly the best anniversary gift I could ever have received. I say "possibly" because I consider my Dh a gift from God as well.
So on this special day of June 26th, I want to say thank you to my Dh for marrying me; for being there to support me through the hard times and laugh with me during the good times. You're my best friend and treasure for me in my life. I am so happy to have the future to share our lives together. Thank you for choosing me to be your wife. I love you Louie and I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you! Happy Anniversary :) xo
My Family
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
31 weeks and counting...
I am finally going to make myself sit down and post an update. I have really been behind with work and things at home so I haven’t had much blogging time because my energy level is a zero now, haha! Seriously, I don’t know what happened but it just seemed like overnight my energy left me and now after I get home from work I am just beat!
A lot has happened over the last few weeks. First of all I am finally drug free, YEH! I mean no more, hydrocortisone, T3, naltrexone…finally. It has been a long process of being weaned off everything but it is so nice to know that I am only taking some supplements now. I can’t believe how long I had been taking most of those drugs so it is a relief to have a break. My doctor even talked to Dr. H.ilgers about everything and he was supportive. Wasn’t that nice?
Um, what else? Let me give you some honest details about the changes going on (warning TMI ahead) Oh, I think my body is definitely getting ready for the baby. Around 28 weeks my breasts started leaking and I was like what the heck is happening??? Actually, I was really happy to see this because it just makes everything seem more real. Also, I can feel the baby getting the hick-ups occasionally which is just amazing. I have been getting much bigger or I like to think it is the baby getting much bigger. I actually gained 14 pounds in four weeks and am now averaging around 2.5 pounds a week but that’s fine I can always loose it later. I guess I am going to reach the 200 mark this pregnancy. I started off at 145 and now I am at 195, YIKES! I do know though that it is the progesterone I have been taking that makes me extra puffy looking ALL over. Every time I take it this has happened. Which by the way, my progesterone is up to 98 now :) As for stretch marks though I have them really bad! There on my hips, thighs, bottom of my stomach, boobs. I was joking with Dh that it looks like I have on a tie died bra with how many marks have shown up, CRAZY! I know that’s a bad mental image but it’s the truth. The baby’s movements are getting really strong over the last month. I love the fact that when I wake up in the middle of the night or early morning to go the bathroom I can feel the baby kicking or punching me. The worst is when I have a full bladder (which is often) and the baby presses down. I swear it feels like I am going to pee my pants, haha! Sometimes the movements are so strong and fast I have to laugh out loud. I think I am just getting more and more excited about labor. I just can;t wait to meet my baby. I know it will be here before we know it but I am just so freaking excited!!!! It really is such a special time…
I had my first baby shower last Saturday up in NY. My MIL was really sweet and worked so hard on putting everything together. On the way there I was talking with my sister and SIL and sharing my feelings about how surreal this all seems. That I just was having a hard time thinking this is really happening, I am finally having my own baby shower. Here I used to dread, seriously dread, going baby showers and a lot of the time I just wouldn’t go because I would come home so depressed! But now it was finally my turn and it didn’t seem real, but like I was dreaming it all up. It felt real though when I was a sweaty mess at the event and had sweat pouring all down me! I had to keep grabbing a paper plate to fan myself and then kept drinking lots of water. Needless to say my feet and ankles swelled up MAJORLY so I felt like a giant hobbit most of the time, but that’s o.k. :) It is kind of hard to hear eveyone's opinion about birth, being a mother, what I am doing to prepare, how I plan on raising the baby...I really don't know the answer to most of these questions but I do know there is NEVER a shortage of opinions, hum...I think everyone is just trying to be helpful but I am just SUPER sensative right now.
I got some of the gifts from the shower in the mail recently so I will post a picture of the stroller I am SUPER excited about. Also, my cloth diapers came in the mail today. WOO-HOO! I am beyond thrilled with that news…I just can’t wait to get home and check them out.
Let’s see what else? Um…..Oh, I have decided to give away our dog , Diesel. I know that may sound heartless of me and I really do literally feel sick about the whole thing so I am trying not to think about. Tonight we are going to a meet and greet thing with some people who are interested in taking him. It is only fair to Diesel since he needs to go to a family that has the time, energy, and love for a big dog. I am wondering if I will regret giving him away later on. Maybe it is just pregnancy hormones making want to do this, but right now my house is driving me nuts with the dog fur on the couches, floors, you name it and then there is the dog drool and throw up and more drool. I keep saying I don’t want to have any dirty floors when the baby comes or dirty furry couches for that matter. What if I want to lay the baby on the floor or the couch on a blanket and then the baby’s blanket or the baby itself is covered in fur balls, UGH! Such a dilemma!!!! So the dog has got to go. I keep trying to be rational about this and not emotional but it is just so hard.
So much for my quick post:) I can’t believe I have only 9 weeks left if that. WOW! It is really flying by now and I feel like I am running out of time to get things done. I have about 7 weeks of work left so I have tons to catch up on before I leave. Next week I talk to my boss about leaving ( I don’t know if it is permanent or temporary yet since I am trying to figure out a way to work from home). We’ll see. I just have to pray about this one.
Even though I haven’t been posting much I have been reading everyone’s blogs for the most part. Please know you all remain in my prayers!!!! xo
Here's some pictures:
Dh and I at my baby shower (I turned the picture to black and white so I don't look as big) he was supper supportive and sweet to me that afternoon since he knew I was emotional and nervous about having a baby shower.
My sister was such a huge help for me at the shower...thanks Candice!
Opening gifts
A lot has happened over the last few weeks. First of all I am finally drug free, YEH! I mean no more, hydrocortisone, T3, naltrexone…finally. It has been a long process of being weaned off everything but it is so nice to know that I am only taking some supplements now. I can’t believe how long I had been taking most of those drugs so it is a relief to have a break. My doctor even talked to Dr. H.ilgers about everything and he was supportive. Wasn’t that nice?
Um, what else? Let me give you some honest details about the changes going on (warning TMI ahead) Oh, I think my body is definitely getting ready for the baby. Around 28 weeks my breasts started leaking and I was like what the heck is happening??? Actually, I was really happy to see this because it just makes everything seem more real. Also, I can feel the baby getting the hick-ups occasionally which is just amazing. I have been getting much bigger or I like to think it is the baby getting much bigger. I actually gained 14 pounds in four weeks and am now averaging around 2.5 pounds a week but that’s fine I can always loose it later. I guess I am going to reach the 200 mark this pregnancy. I started off at 145 and now I am at 195, YIKES! I do know though that it is the progesterone I have been taking that makes me extra puffy looking ALL over. Every time I take it this has happened. Which by the way, my progesterone is up to 98 now :) As for stretch marks though I have them really bad! There on my hips, thighs, bottom of my stomach, boobs. I was joking with Dh that it looks like I have on a tie died bra with how many marks have shown up, CRAZY! I know that’s a bad mental image but it’s the truth. The baby’s movements are getting really strong over the last month. I love the fact that when I wake up in the middle of the night or early morning to go the bathroom I can feel the baby kicking or punching me. The worst is when I have a full bladder (which is often) and the baby presses down. I swear it feels like I am going to pee my pants, haha! Sometimes the movements are so strong and fast I have to laugh out loud. I think I am just getting more and more excited about labor. I just can;t wait to meet my baby. I know it will be here before we know it but I am just so freaking excited!!!! It really is such a special time…
I had my first baby shower last Saturday up in NY. My MIL was really sweet and worked so hard on putting everything together. On the way there I was talking with my sister and SIL and sharing my feelings about how surreal this all seems. That I just was having a hard time thinking this is really happening, I am finally having my own baby shower. Here I used to dread, seriously dread, going baby showers and a lot of the time I just wouldn’t go because I would come home so depressed! But now it was finally my turn and it didn’t seem real, but like I was dreaming it all up. It felt real though when I was a sweaty mess at the event and had sweat pouring all down me! I had to keep grabbing a paper plate to fan myself and then kept drinking lots of water. Needless to say my feet and ankles swelled up MAJORLY so I felt like a giant hobbit most of the time, but that’s o.k. :) It is kind of hard to hear eveyone's opinion about birth, being a mother, what I am doing to prepare, how I plan on raising the baby...I really don't know the answer to most of these questions but I do know there is NEVER a shortage of opinions, hum...I think everyone is just trying to be helpful but I am just SUPER sensative right now.
I got some of the gifts from the shower in the mail recently so I will post a picture of the stroller I am SUPER excited about. Also, my cloth diapers came in the mail today. WOO-HOO! I am beyond thrilled with that news…I just can’t wait to get home and check them out.
Let’s see what else? Um…..Oh, I have decided to give away our dog , Diesel. I know that may sound heartless of me and I really do literally feel sick about the whole thing so I am trying not to think about. Tonight we are going to a meet and greet thing with some people who are interested in taking him. It is only fair to Diesel since he needs to go to a family that has the time, energy, and love for a big dog. I am wondering if I will regret giving him away later on. Maybe it is just pregnancy hormones making want to do this, but right now my house is driving me nuts with the dog fur on the couches, floors, you name it and then there is the dog drool and throw up and more drool. I keep saying I don’t want to have any dirty floors when the baby comes or dirty furry couches for that matter. What if I want to lay the baby on the floor or the couch on a blanket and then the baby’s blanket or the baby itself is covered in fur balls, UGH! Such a dilemma!!!! So the dog has got to go. I keep trying to be rational about this and not emotional but it is just so hard.
So much for my quick post:) I can’t believe I have only 9 weeks left if that. WOW! It is really flying by now and I feel like I am running out of time to get things done. I have about 7 weeks of work left so I have tons to catch up on before I leave. Next week I talk to my boss about leaving ( I don’t know if it is permanent or temporary yet since I am trying to figure out a way to work from home). We’ll see. I just have to pray about this one.
Even though I haven’t been posting much I have been reading everyone’s blogs for the most part. Please know you all remain in my prayers!!!! xo
Here's some pictures:
Dh and I at my baby shower (I turned the picture to black and white so I don't look as big) he was supper supportive and sweet to me that afternoon since he knew I was emotional and nervous about having a baby shower.
My sister was such a huge help for me at the shower...thanks Candice!
Opening gifts
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