Well, girls I really feel like crap today. Seriously feeling blue and wishing I had a baby (as usual). I guess things have been really crazy here emotionally. I have been crying tons the last few days with my Grandpa's viewing on Thursday night and then the funeral yesterday. It was absolutely a beautiful funeral. I didn't take any pictures though because I didn't want to have to think about anything else but being with the family.
We all met at the church Friday afternoon. My Grandma, my sister, Dh, and I all drove to the funeral together. When we arrived there was the Sheriff's department that my Grandpa had served both as Highway Patrol Men and as Sheriff for many years in. It was so beautiful to see everyone in uniform. My brothers and cousins were the pallbearers and they all dressed in black with white gloves. Everyone dressed in black so it was very formal and my grandma even wore a short veil of lace over the front of her face. It was so classy to see. Well, we were all crying during the funeral and at the end my Grandma had a poem read by my cousin that she had wrote to my Grandpa so that she could say good-bye to him. I was a mess during that reading. Seriously, this was so hard to go through. We haven't had anyone in our family die in so many years and my Grandpa was really the center of the family. He was such a great man and a wonderful example of how I would like to live my life. After the funeral Mass we went to the cemetery and were escorted by a dozen of the CA Highway Patrol on motorcycles that blocked off all stop lights(motorcade)which I thought my Grandpa would have really liked to have seen. At the cemetery we all placed white roses on the casket and taps was played along with the folding of the American Flag. It was just so beautiful. My Grandma then had doves released then she really started crying which just broke my heart to see because she is such a strong woman. Afterwards we went back to my Grandparent's home for a huge reception. Let me just say the reception was AWESOME! After the party got started (there was about 100 people there)we went through about 180 margaritas, 14 bottles of white wine, 1/2 a cag (sp?)of beer and tons of soda. It was a thirsty crowd. By the end of the night every man there had had a turn being thrown in the pool...either willingly or unwillingly. It was definitely a party that my Grandpa would have enjoyed. All of our hearts were heavy though through out the night and we all told stories about my Grandpa...May he rest in peace. Thank you all for your prayers!!!!
As for crazy cycle news. Things have been so depressing. Let me explain. The other day on Peak + 9 I realized as I was about to inject the HCG injection that I was going to inject the FREAKING water solution! Can you believe it? That means definitely on P+7 I injected water. I just can't remember or even believe that I had done so on P+5 but that would explain why my levels were so low. I SERIOUSLY CAN NOT BELIEVE I MADE THIS STUPID MISTAKE! I remember taking the HCG on P+3 but as for P+5 it's a blur. Gosh, I tried so hard to do absolutely EVERYTHING right and then I screwed up!!!!!!!!!!!! How did this happen. UGH!
Consequently I have had red spotting since yesterday P+10. I just hope my cycle starts right now. This cycle has really been depressing and I am most certainly ready to move on! I am so embarrassed that I have to tell PPVI during my cycle review that I was injected the water solution. So maybe this cycle I only had one day of HG injection. Can I blame my "not thinking" on stress as well and that is why I made the mistake. HAHA! Yeh, right!
So Dh leaves tomorrow back to VA and I am going home on Wed. Things just aren't the same around here without my Grandpa. Please keep my poor Grandma in your prayers.
Praying for you all!
P.s. I just got news that while we are out of town that are granite countertop (bar counter) fell to the ground and everything on either broke or came tubbling down with it. How did that happen? The counter was attatched to the wall!!! What a mess! Oh well, I am still on vacation so I will worry about that later :)
your grandpa's funeral sounds like it was a beautiful tribute to his life. you are so lucky to be part of such a wonderful family!
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry that you've had so many mishaps! don't worry too much about the HCG injections. when i was on them i would give myself the injections on the wrong day and then a few times i didn't have enough for the last needle. i always felt like such a dope!
you and your family, especially your grandmother, are in my prayers!
Thank you JB! You're so sweet! Praying for you :)
ReplyDeleteAs I read all about your grandpa's funeral, tears started to stream down my face! Seriously, it all sounded so beautiful, and yes, very classy. Yet so sad.
ReplyDeleteI love that everyone came together to really celebrate his life at that party. I will continue to pray both for your grandpa and your grandma AND your mother, as I am sure she too is hurting a lot right now. And for you, of course.
Sorry about that HCG mess-up!! But you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. What a difficult month it has been for you!
You just lost your precious grandfather and that takes a lot out of a person.
I am SO sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else. At least now you know why your numbers were so low!
I will keep your grandfather and your family in my prayers. May his soul be resting peacefully in heaven and may your grandma be finding peace in her life. That is wonderful that your family and friends were able to celebrate too....sounds like your grandfather gave everyone lots of reasons to celebrate. I'm sure he was happy looking down on you all.
ReplyDeleteI agree with LH...don't be to hard on yourself...you had a lot going on this month to remember everything. Seems like IF requires a lot of thought and routine.
That is strange about the countertop...like you said...something you'll have to contend with when you get home. Many blessings.
What an absolutely lovely funeral... I'm sure your grandpa was watching all of you and smiling.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up about injecting the water. It's not like we are experts in mixing drugs and injecting needles into our bodies (though we probably should be, but you know what I mean)!
I'm so sorry for your loss, again.
What a past couple of days you have had. Regardless of the HCG, you had a lot of stress to manage. Two years ago my godmother died (we flew to Ohio for the funeral) - two weeks later my grandmother died (we flew to Ohio for the funeral) and then three weeks later my uncle died. My cycle was a total mess. I would have never been able to do HCG and deal with the stress.
ReplyDeleteThe funeral sounds amazing. You guys will be in our prayers. I am so sorry for your families loss.
So sorry again about your grandfather--the funeral sounds like it was a bittersweet experience. Yikes about the countertop! Re: the HCG...I usually toss the vial of water after I mix it with the HCG so I don't accidentally confuse one vial for the other. Don't be too hard on yourself. Enjoy your time back home now with your DH!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your Grandpa. Funerals are filled with mixed emotions, being sad for everyone left here but happy for the one who passed and is nearing heaven. I hope your grandpa intercedes for you!!
ReplyDeleteAmber, I just read this! The funeral sounded so beautiful. I'm sure your grandpa was smiling down on you all.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you have to go through all of that right around time when school is beginning and especially with St. B's being in a total state of disorganization. Take each day at a time- you'll get through it! Praying for you....xo
Oh, Amber, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather... Death is never easy, especially with someone so close to you. I'll pray for you.
ReplyDeleteP.S. This is slightly stalkerish but I'm SO glad I get to read your blog now. WHen I logged on a while ago and you had gone private I was so worried! I wrote a post on my blog on the anniv of it a few weeks ago and wrote something about how I was worried you'd gone private and I wouldn't get to read your blog anymore!! But you probably didn't see it so you didn't respond. I sent you a message on facebook but you probably didn't get that either! So I was thinking, oh no, she doesn't want me to read her blog and I don't want to be pushy!! HA!
Anyway, I'm glad to be back here. I missed you!
Praying for you in your loss...
oh and this is Shannon, i have a weird yahoo account with blogger and my name comes up "SMC"
What a crazy month you have had!! The funeral sounded very classy! I can't imagine your grandmother's pain. It breaks my heart!
ReplyDeleteThrow the water bottle away after you mix your hcg! :) Don't worry too much about your hcg. The good thing is that you will get your period very soon. :) Right? I think so anyway!