Falling behind...

I really did have good intentions to start blogging again but where does the time go? Girls I really am working on getting my act together. Please be patient with me :)Until then here is a recent picture of Lucy and us.

Back after a LONG break...

I can't believe how long it has been since I blogged. I really don't even know where to begin and that is one of the reasons why I haven't posted in awhile. Being a mother has been the most amazing experience EVER! At the same time it has also been challenging in many ways. Right now I will only talk about the positives :) So here is the first part of my birth story. I added a lot of details so that I wouldn’t forget anything as years go by. L.ucy Marie’s Birth Part One… On August 17th, the evening before my labor, Louie made dinner (as usual since I was coming close to my due date.) It was a spicy red sauce over pasta, yum. I remember I had heartburn afterwards while lying on the couch. Lou was rubbing my achy, swollen feet and we were just chatting about the day and about the baby coming. The baby’s arrival was the most common topic of course since my due date was August 25th in my book and August 24th in the midwives opinion. I had just given notice and quit my job on August 13th. I really believed I would have a couple of week’s vacation before the baby would arrive. That is the wonderful thing about babies you just never know when they plan on making their arrival. So I thought wrong. I had two days vacation and then it all started. As Lou was rubbing my feet I was having sharp pains down in the V area which had been the most strong I had really ever felt them. I am pretty sure this was the pressure from the baby on my cervix. We went to bed as usual, nothing out of the ordinary was occurring that I can recall. At 1:00am I woke up with a warm wet feeling in bed. My sheets, pajamas, everything was drenched! I was shocked. I woke up Louie right away and whispered that I think I wet the bed. I honestly thought from the pressure I was feeling earlier in the evening that maybe I just wet the bed in my sleep. Louie was asking if I was sure and I said I really don’t know because I don’t know what it is like to have your water break. Maybe it was my water that broke. So many thoughts were going through my head. I am going to meet my baby in just a few hours. Oh my gosh is this really happening. Lou was really sweet about it and went to google “water breaking and what to look for” or something to that idea. I got up to go to the bathroom, change my underwear and go back to bed. Although the moment I laid down a lot of water came out. So I got up and was talking to Lou while he was in the bathroom and water kept running down my legs. I said that this is definitely water leaking and I am going to have the baby. This all happened so fast! I was dying to call my twin sister Candice but I just had to wait until the morning or else I knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep either. I called my doula, S.arah P.axton at about 1:15am to tell her the news and she said we should try to go back to sleep and get plenty of rest. I agreed. Although one thing I didn’t get was rest, haha! I was soooo excited to have the baby that I couldn’t sleep. I told Lou to go get a bottle of wine and let’s have a toast to celebrate that this was all starting, labor was finally beginning. So we toasted in bed in anticipation to the baby’s arrival. Here is a little video of us toasting :)
I didn’t have ANY contractions so then we tried to get some rest. Lou slept pretty well for the most part and I couldn’t sleep at all. Thoughts kept running through my head, how was my labor going to be…what is my baby going to look like, will the baby be healthy, my whole life is about to change, etc. I had to get up out of bed a couple of times to change my underwear from all the water until I realized I needed to wear a pad and then wrap a big towel all around me like a diaper. It still didn’t do the trick. I was very uncomfortable so I didn’t fall asleep until around 6:00am. At 8:00am I woke up and called my mid-wife to tell her my water had broken at 1:00am and I have no contractions. She said for me to come into the hospital around 1:00pm whether my contractions had started or not so they can check the contractions on the monitor and see how they were progressing and how the baby’s heartbeat was. I agreed as long as I didn’t have to stay at the hospital if things were fine. She agreed as long as everything looked good then I would be able to go home and labor at home for awhile. I had to call our Doula again and give her the update. Then I called my sister and told her my water had broken. She was so excited and told me to tell her as soon we go to the hospital and she would be there to meet me. I then had to call my mom and tell her my water had broken. She had never heard of anyone having their water break and not going to the hospital. I told her everything was fine and there was nothing to worry about. She wanted to come to my house right away but I really wanted to labor at home by myself with Louie. This was just the start of updating every one throughout the day. I was really tired at this point so I showered and got ready for the day so I could try to take a nap before going to the hospital that afternoon. Around 10:00am-12:00pm I got to sleep for a couple of hours. I was really tired by this point from the lack of sleep but I was running on adrenaline at this point. When I woke up I panicked because I hadn’t packed anything for the hospital yet and I only had 30 minutes before we had to leave to meet our midwife, Leslie F.ehan, at St. Francis Medical Center. The time was flying by and before I knew it Lou was packing up the car with our things just incase we weren’t able to come home that day but had to stay overnight. I still didn’t really have any contractions to speak of. We were off to our first trip to the hospital that day full of anticipation that things were progressing smoothly. Here is a video of us getting ready to go to our first trip to the hospital.

Finally! It's a ....

Here is my pride and joy!!!! She is 3 days old in this picture. (More pictures to come)

This is going to be super short post because I am delirious and soooo tired. I want to announce that my baby girl, L.ucy M.arie M.assett was born on August 19th at 6:46PM weighing 7 Ibs 15 ounces and 20 inches long. I feel like I am living a dream right now and I am choked up even typing this. She is so precious and such a joy to have in my life. Once I adjust and recover fully from my c-section I will type her birth story for you all to know the details. At the moment it is all a blur so I will have to have Dh remind me of what happened during her birth :)
Thank you all for your prayers and support!

Prayer requests/ intentions

So girls I have about 2 weeks left give or take until the arrival of Baby Massett. If anyone would like me to take there intentions with me into labor just let me know. I need to offer all this pain up for someone/something so it would be helpful to have your intentions in mind :) Just email if you would like: ambermassett at gmail dot com

Here's a little update. It is getting much harder to move around. Every joint in my body aches even my fingers which is weird! I really don't have much enery during the day. Saturday morning I slept in and actually caught up on my lack of sleep lately. So Dh and I got dressed, went to the Farmers Market, S.tarbucks, and then to Maymont Park to walk around the japanese gardens, then Dh drove me to the Mall so I could get a couple nursing bras, then we went to my parents house to go swimming, and I made peach cobbler with my sister while Dh grilled ribs (YUM!!!!). It was a very busy day to say the least but I kept telling Dh that I really wanted us to do a lot before the baby comes. Needless to say Sunday I crashed!!!! I felt so sick tired that I did nothing! Absolutely nothing! Just sat on the couch and watched T.V. I was so wiped out!

Anyways, Saturday really taught me a lesson. I really need to pase myself lately with what I plan on doing for one day at a time. I am really getting anxious for the baby to come. I have such a mixture of feelings from being scared, nervous, and anxious to go through all the pain to being excited, and overjoyed to finally meet my little one.

We have another midwife appoinment tomorrow so hopefully she'll tell me the baby has turned around and things are progessing. After all I have been taking that eveing primrose oil at night and (TMI) it makes me feel like I wet my pants ...so uncomfortable! it is so difficult to sleep right now that the smallest thing wakes me. It is such a huge process to roll from one side to the other that I constantelty wake up just to flip over. I really can't believe how pregnancy changes your whole body.

I think that is probable one of the reasons I have been in hiding lately. I haven't visited with anyone in awhile just because i get so uncomfortable sitting for a long period of time. Mass has been a killer lately so the movies are definelty out of the question, haha! I don't want to have anyone over and then be like "excuse me I need everyone to sit at the dining room table so I can lye down on the couch." That would be crazy. But that is how I feel.

I think I am really going to miss being pregnant when this is all over with just because it has been a dream come true but it will be nice to get to moving around like normal and feeling like myself again. And if I hear one more time "are you sure you're not having twins" "are you sure there is only one baby in thre" I just might break down and bawl my eyes out :)

Hospital Tour (video)

We finally went on our hospital tour! I posted a little clip of Dh and I outside of the hospital, Yeh :)It was so special...I was choked up in the labor and delivery room. I just couldn't believe we were actually there preparing for the birth of our baby. Just to think in a few weeks we'll be there for the actual birth of our baby...AMAZING!!!! I was just so wiped out afterwards because we had to stand for an HOUR during the tour. It was rough! I was so tired physically and emotionally afterwards.

TO BE CONTINUED:
Now I am continuing this post today after our midwife appointment (TMI ahead). I guess I am not dilated at all and my cervix hasn't softened at all so now I am taking Evening Prim Rose Oil orally and vaginally to get things ready. Hopefully that will do the trick :) We talked about our birth plan and stuff like that which I feel much better about. So now I just wait and see until next weeks appointment :)

3 weeks and 6 days left...maybe

Only 3 weeks and 6 days left give or take. I can’t believe it but at the same time I really feel ready to have this baby. I can’t wait to meet him/her!!!! Every morning I wake up and feel my stomach first thing to see if this is all still real, still happening to me. Of course when I get out of bed and feel the ache of my feet and joints it couldn’t feel more real. I feel huge at the moment and I think I am just having a hard time carrying all this extra weight. Every part of me feels “puffy” and I am drinking a lot of this pregnancy tonic tea to help with the swelling. I really have been having a lot of pressure in the V area. This may be TMI but sometimes I feel sharp stabbing pains there like the baby’s hand is going to pop out! I am only being so specific because before I was pregnant I always wanted to know what pregnant women experienced….
So, the baby’s movements are much different now than they were at around 20 weeks or so. Now that there is less fluid in there and the baby is getting bigger sometimes it really hurts. I actually talk to the baby and ask him/her to PLEASE settle down and then I try to adjust where I am being kicked or punched ;) The baby still makes me laugh with all these movements. I can’t believe how blessed I am to experience all of this!!!! A lot of people especially at work ask me how I am doing and most of the time I just say “everything is fine” or “I feel good” but really what I would like to say is that I am terribly uncomfortable most of the time right now especially around late afternoon after sitting most of the day. My tail bone kills me to sit on which I think is because I have had a couple bad falls in my life. I really don’t think I’ll be laboring sitting on my tailbone that’s for sure! I am not complaining about being pregnant just telling you all the truth about how I feel at the moment :)

I have my diaper bag packed and all the baby’s clothes organized. There are still a few things I still need to get like a nursing bra, etc. Everyone was so generous at my baby showers. I have to laugh though with how many receiving blankets I have received! I doubt I’ll ever run out of those. I think because we don’t know the gender that people must have thought that was a safe bet to give receiving blankets, haha!

We finished are birth plan and have yet to discuss it with our midwife. Hopefully we’ll be able to do this at our next appointment. We went ahead and hired a doula who I think is going to be extremely helpful with having a natural delivery. I really like her a lot and actually everyone in my birth class ended up hiring her as well. I'll definitely update how that all goes.

Last night I got up to go to the bathroom and when I was coming back to bed I ran into the corner of the bed with my shin, ouch! Needless to say I bent over and said ouch. Dh popped up out of bed super quick and ask what’s the matter are you having contractions? It was so cute. He actually thought it was “time”. I told him I just ran into the corner of the bed and not to worry. I am sure he must be thinking I am going to go into labor early just because I keep having a lot of contractions in the evening, etc. I assure him this is normal and doesn’t mean anything. I think we are both just excited to meet our little one.

So, this post has been all over the place I feel like…I’ll try to update more in the coming weeks.
Oh, before I forget I have about two weeks left of work!!!!!!!!!!! YEH! I can’t believe it. I still don’t know what the plans are after my maternity leave it up on Oct. 11th. I’ll just have to wait and see what God has planned.

Before I forget to mention it I am off of progesterone and baby asprin now. I just decided I have had enough progesterone and that's it!!! So we'll see what happens now :)

Nesting...or being a bitch?

I seriously don't know what my problem is lately, but Dh is taking a verbal beating from me almost every evening because I am wanting everything to be perfect in the house. I am absolutely no fun to live with at the moment and most evenings I end up crying from exhaustion. So I have to ask myself, "am I nesting or just being a huge BITCH?" Why do I do this? The baby isn't going to notice anything but for some reason I just want every drawer and every nook and cranny spotless. This is killing me...I am so tired but then I get very anxious if I am not working on something or organizing something my way only. I need to get a grip! I realize this. Now if I can get a grip and have some peace of mind ;)

This past week I took all of our drawers out of our credenza and just dumped them upside down on the dining room table to sort through. How is it possible for every drawer to turn into a junk drawer? It is possible at my house!!! Next, I dumped out everything in the kitchen cabinets and started organizing from the top down. I thought I would sleep so much better knowing where everything is in the house but now I am having a heck of a time falling to sleep at night. Any suggestions? I have been lying there FOREVER trying to fall asleep and no luck. Then I start to feel sick tired during the afternoon from lack of sleep. It is an endless cycle.

I think this is a really negative post so I am going to blame that on a severe lack of sleep :(

By the way, we have a midwifes appointment tomorrow and get to meet with our doula next week for our first meeting to see what we think of her. Yeh, I can't wait!

Yeh! Baptism Certificate

Yeh, I got a baptismal certificate that is beautiful for our baby's baptism. I am going to try to remember to bring it to the batism and have everyone sign it, i.e. priest and godparents and then have it framed for the nursery. Here is a link if you want to see what it looks like. I think you can click on the image to enlarge it.

http://www.angeluspress.org/oscatalog/item/8414/sacramental-record-baptism

Thank you for the prayers ;)

Stress! and pic.s

I don't want to be selfish or anything, but can I ask you all to say a prayer for me and DH? I am having a really hard time handling stress right now. I always thought it would be easy breazy with the baby soon arriving but when it comes down to all the decisions that have to be made it can be quite STRESSFUL!!!! Anyways, prayers please :) On a lighter note here are some pictures of things going on lately Wedding Anniversary Got my baby stroller, Woo-hoo! Diapers arrived :) Newborn size Dh playing at a coffe shop: note the "grim reaper" walking passed, so WIERD, HAHA! I don't know what this kid was doing...

Ugh! I can't get the sound to work ;(

Happy 6 Year Wedding Anniversary!

Looking back I thought the six years of marriage wouldn't be like this...granted I am happy for every moment we have had together but I thought six years would be different. I thought I would have 3 or 4 kids by now. Certainly God has His reasons for having Dh and I wait and go through so many procedures. It really hasn't been easy and looking back I would say infertility really took a toll on a lot of the years we were married. I think it has made us better friends for having to suffer together. Not that I wish for any other couple to have to go that. HE** no! The ups and DOWNS of infertility can be just crushing!!!!

I meant for this post about our Anniversary to be a more cheerful topic but 5 1/2 years of our marriage IF was a major heartache. I wouldn't change a minute of our time spent together becuase it has made us who we are today.

This year is different though. Every anniversary I have had I have felt sick about not being able to conceive. I think this evening's celebration will be far different; with joy and anticipation for the years to come spent with our little one. This pregnancy is a gift and possibly the best anniversary gift I could ever have received. I say "possibly" because I consider my Dh a gift from God as well.

So on this special day of June 26th, I want to say thank you to my Dh for marrying me; for being there to support me through the hard times and laugh with me during the good times. You're my best friend and treasure for me in my life. I am so happy to have the future to share our lives together. Thank you for choosing me to be your wife. I love you Louie and I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you! Happy Anniversary :) xo

31 weeks and counting...

I am finally going to make myself sit down and post an update. I have really been behind with work and things at home so I haven’t had much blogging time because my energy level is a zero now, haha! Seriously, I don’t know what happened but it just seemed like overnight my energy left me and now after I get home from work I am just beat!

A lot has happened over the last few weeks. First of all I am finally drug free, YEH! I mean no more, hydrocortisone, T3, naltrexone…finally. It has been a long process of being weaned off everything but it is so nice to know that I am only taking some supplements now. I can’t believe how long I had been taking most of those drugs so it is a relief to have a break. My doctor even talked to Dr. H.ilgers about everything and he was supportive. Wasn’t that nice?

Um, what else? Let me give you some honest details about the changes going on (warning TMI ahead) Oh, I think my body is definitely getting ready for the baby. Around 28 weeks my breasts started leaking and I was like what the heck is happening??? Actually, I was really happy to see this because it just makes everything seem more real. Also, I can feel the baby getting the hick-ups occasionally which is just amazing. I have been getting much bigger or I like to think it is the baby getting much bigger. I actually gained 14 pounds in four weeks and am now averaging around 2.5 pounds a week but that’s fine I can always loose it later. I guess I am going to reach the 200 mark this pregnancy. I started off at 145 and now I am at 195, YIKES! I do know though that it is the progesterone I have been taking that makes me extra puffy looking ALL over. Every time I take it this has happened. Which by the way, my progesterone is up to 98 now :) As for stretch marks though I have them really bad! There on my hips, thighs, bottom of my stomach, boobs. I was joking with Dh that it looks like I have on a tie died bra with how many marks have shown up, CRAZY! I know that’s a bad mental image but it’s the truth. The baby’s movements are getting really strong over the last month. I love the fact that when I wake up in the middle of the night or early morning to go the bathroom I can feel the baby kicking or punching me. The worst is when I have a full bladder (which is often) and the baby presses down. I swear it feels like I am going to pee my pants, haha! Sometimes the movements are so strong and fast I have to laugh out loud. I think I am just getting more and more excited about labor. I just can;t wait to meet my baby. I know it will be here before we know it but I am just so freaking excited!!!! It really is such a special time…

I had my first baby shower last Saturday up in NY. My MIL was really sweet and worked so hard on putting everything together. On the way there I was talking with my sister and SIL and sharing my feelings about how surreal this all seems. That I just was having a hard time thinking this is really happening, I am finally having my own baby shower. Here I used to dread, seriously dread, going baby showers and a lot of the time I just wouldn’t go because I would come home so depressed! But now it was finally my turn and it didn’t seem real, but like I was dreaming it all up. It felt real though when I was a sweaty mess at the event and had sweat pouring all down me! I had to keep grabbing a paper plate to fan myself and then kept drinking lots of water. Needless to say my feet and ankles swelled up MAJORLY so I felt like a giant hobbit most of the time, but that’s o.k. :) It is kind of hard to hear eveyone's opinion about birth, being a mother, what I am doing to prepare, how I plan on raising the baby...I really don't know the answer to most of these questions but I do know there is NEVER a shortage of opinions, hum...I think everyone is just trying to be helpful but I am just SUPER sensative right now.

I got some of the gifts from the shower in the mail recently so I will post a picture of the stroller I am SUPER excited about. Also, my cloth diapers came in the mail today. WOO-HOO! I am beyond thrilled with that news…I just can’t wait to get home and check them out.

Let’s see what else? Um…..Oh, I have decided to give away our dog , Diesel. I know that may sound heartless of me and I really do literally feel sick about the whole thing so I am trying not to think about. Tonight we are going to a meet and greet thing with some people who are interested in taking him. It is only fair to Diesel since he needs to go to a family that has the time, energy, and love for a big dog. I am wondering if I will regret giving him away later on. Maybe it is just pregnancy hormones making want to do this, but right now my house is driving me nuts with the dog fur on the couches, floors, you name it and then there is the dog drool and throw up and more drool. I keep saying I don’t want to have any dirty floors when the baby comes or dirty furry couches for that matter. What if I want to lay the baby on the floor or the couch on a blanket and then the baby’s blanket or the baby itself is covered in fur balls, UGH! Such a dilemma!!!! So the dog has got to go. I keep trying to be rational about this and not emotional but it is just so hard.

So much for my quick post:) I can’t believe I have only 9 weeks left if that. WOW! It is really flying by now and I feel like I am running out of time to get things done. I have about 7 weeks of work left so I have tons to catch up on before I leave. Next week I talk to my boss about leaving ( I don’t know if it is permanent or temporary yet since I am trying to figure out a way to work from home). We’ll see. I just have to pray about this one.

Even though I haven’t been posting much I have been reading everyone’s blogs for the most part. Please know you all remain in my prayers!!!! xo
Here's some pictures:

Dh and I at my baby shower (I turned the picture to black and white so I don't look as big) he was supper supportive and sweet to me that afternoon since he knew I was emotional and nervous about having a baby shower.


My sister was such a huge help for me at the shower...thanks Candice!

Opening gifts

Junk pic. and Progesterone ramblings

(no time for proof reading)
I just had to take a picture of all of the clothes, books, junk, and storage items I need to have Dh move out of the our guest bedroom. I can't believe how easy it is to have things build up. I am dying to have this room finished but I did all I could do since I can’t do the lifting of the heavy things down the stairs.
I am going to run to Jo Anne’s today to see if I can get some material to recover some pillows in the guest room. I used two drop clothes to recover the couch. Which looks much better than the material that was there since the couch is so old. The upstairs of my house is finally starting to come together. Just a few things left to do. Then I need to start down stairs…that is going to take some time for sure.

I started the vaginal progesterone last night. Does anyone know why they have you take it vaginally? I have to say I really don’t like the compounding pharmacy here that I got the prescription from. PPVI called in the prescription on Thurs. I went to pick it up on Friday and they said they had know record of it. I was so emotional about it because PPVI wanted me to start it right away and the compounding pharmacy had already closed so they couldn’t make it for until Monday. Anyways, I went out to my car to call PPVI and try to keep myself together and as I am talking to PPVI (only to leave a message of course) a lady from the pharmacy comes out to my car to stand and wait for me to get off the phone. I got off the phone and opened my car door to see what she wanted and she proceeded to talk to ask me about why I am not receiving my progesterone prescription from a local OB-GYN and how she used to be one and that if I need to be on that amount of progesterone then that is pretty serious to go the whole weekend without it, YADADADA! Anyways, all I could say was, yup, I understand since my infertility history is to long of a story to get into. After our conversation I drove to the nearest parking lot out of the pharmacy’s view and had a breakdown! Luckily God knew I needed the next person I talked too to be nice to me so my favorite nurse form PPVI called me and said not to worry I could get the prescription on Monday and just take an extra shot of progesterone in the mean time….the nurse was so consoling! I am really grateful when I get to speak to one of the nurses that are so nice. I realized I was losing it because I was so overly tired...it's weird how when I am pregnant I just can't managed to do nearly as much during the day. My sister recommended I just go home and do nothing...As a result, dh came home from work and I was lying in bed. I just kept telling him I am sooo tired, I am just not myself, I need to rest majorly, etc. and that's is all I did. REST! It was so nice :)

By the way, I just had to link to this baby sling and baby crib stuff I am in love with but it is all so crazy expensive!!! I thought P.ottery B.arn Kids was pricy but this store definetly beets that. This is what I call a "dream" store, haha!
Well back to work again…

Curtain pictures / baby bump pic.

O.k. here are some pictures of the curtains I have been working on. I am only posting one picture of each kind because the rooms they're in are still a mess so I have some major organizing to do ;) I also, couldn't get my flash to work so they're kind of dark.

This curtain is in the bathroom.


These curtains are just a couple in the master bedroom. (I am so annoyed I left the blinds down behind the curtain, UGH!)




And this curtain (dark pic.) is one of the guest bedroom curtains.


Also, here is an updated baby bump pic. with my not so twin looking sister and my beautiful niece (I am bias). I am just piling on the weight but oh well...I love being pregnant :)

A lot going on lately…(UPDATED with progesterone results)

I am been so busy after work trying to get things ready for when the baby comes. My goal is to have everything ready by the end of July, which is only 10 weeks away. I made a huge “Baby to do list”. Absolutely huge! Here it is if your curious and wondering why I don’t post as frequently.
Dining Room/ Kitchen
1. Clean out credenza drawers/ organize
2. Clean out Kitchen Cupboards/ organize
3. Install new AC Unit (window unit)
4. Paint the doors that have scratch marks
5. Recover Dining Room Chairs
6.

Outside/Front Porch
1. Paint the doors that have scratch marks
2. Spray paint patio furniture
3. Mow lawns
4. Organize back porch
5. Add seat cushions to patio furniture
6. Clean up porch off of bed room

Living Room
1. Hang ceiling fan in living room
2. New Living Room Furniture
3. Put Old Living Room Furniture on Craigslist
4. Set up T.V. in Living Room
5. Copy wedding pictures/ family pictures/ buy frames
6. Set up roll top desk in entry way
7. Make draperies

Master Bedroom
1. Purge closets of clothes and shoes
2. Clean out dresser drawers
3. Organize book shelves
4. Buy new duvet cover
5. Set up co-sleeper
6. Clean off box fan
7. Add window treatments
8.

Guest Room
1. Remove baby crib from guest room
2. Set up round table in guest room
3. Buy cover for couch
4. Recover couch pillows
5. Remove Dresser and TV
6. Add window treatments

Nursery
1. Pick out nursery paint colors
2. Fix nursery window
3. Remove office furniture
4. Hang up rod in baby closet
5. Install shelves in closet
6. Paint the door that have scratch marks
7. Fix hallway light
8. Buy soft lighting lamp
9.

Basement
1. Organize basement (get rid of junk)

Bathroom
1. Add window treatment
2. Paint white border

There are some blank spots so I can keep adding to the list, haha!

So, not to bore you with that list but I am so anxious to get all of this taken care of. I presented it to Dh and started bawling saying the baby is coming any minute and we need to get his all done ASAP! So, I was a little emotional about it…hormones I know ;)

I should be hearing how my progesterone levels are doing so hopefully they are doing better than last time. The doctor here is weaning super slowly off of the hydrocortisone so at 31 weeks I’ll be done with that and then they’ll retest my adrenals to see where they’re at. I am glad this doctor is so concerned. She even called PPVI to get more info about things…very nice :)

The baby is just kicking away and sometimes makes me laugh because it tickles when he/she kicks so high past my belly button. I can finally see the movements from the outside of my stomach which is just amazing to see a bulge here and there. I just love it so much. Mostly at night when I lie down to watch TV does the baby decide to wake up and start kicking and moving around. I love that time of day.

I made a sling for the baby the other day which is to small so I have to do some seem ripping and add fabric to it. No big deal. I lined it in a soft flannel so the baby will be nice and cozy. Alos, I am soooo excited because I found this great website to make a Mei Tai Baby Carrier. I can’t wait to try it out. Although this time I am going to use REALLY cheap fabric first and then drag out the nice stuff once I get the hang of it. There’s this Sew and Vac place I found that said they’ll fix my serging machine so that takes care of all the raw edges. YEH!

I am off the clock here at work now so I have to run…I will try to write more about what’s been going on later with some before and after pic.s (I don’t have time to proof read this so ignore the mistakes.

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I got my progesterone results. So last time they were something like 34 now my level is up to 49. PPVI says that is o.k. but not were Dr. Hilgers wants it to be. Sooooo, now I am to continue the 200mg 2x a week of injections and then add 300mg vaginal suppositories every night before bed. Does anyone know what that means if your progesterone isn't that high? Does it hurt the bay in any way? Dh and I were discussing this yesterday and I just didn't know how low progesterone affects the baby. Or what even makes the progesterone...is it the placenta? The nurse asked me how everything has been looking on the ultrasounds and I told her had one at 20 weeks and everything was normal. Then she asked if the baby was kicking at all and I told her the baby kicks all time. She said great. I just can't help but worry that she was asking me all those questions but it probably just typical that she asks questions about the pregnancy. I also explained to the nurse that the doctors here have been weaning me off of the hydrocortizone. She didn't seem to concerned about that. So that's nice.

I am exhausted today! Yesterday I came home from work and made window treatments for my bedroom and bathroom. I sew long white sheers for the windows and door to the balcony and then a valence for each window as well. I still have to add the little dingle balls off of the curtain in the bathroom but I have to say I am in LOVE with the no sew fabric glue. It is so easy. I am sure if my sewing teacher were to see all of the "cheats" I did on my sewing project she would just die. This afternoon I am going to go pick out fabric for the guess bedroom. This weekend after I clean up both rooms and hang the window treatments then I’ll add some pictures of a before and somewhat after.
I am stalling on the nursery until I get the crib bedding I want from P.ottery B.arn K.ids. I really like the soft neutral colors. I guess after reading my "Baby to do list" it probably sounds like my house is a disaster which to me it really feels like that. Even my house keeper said to me this morning that she has been coming to my house for a month and every time she has been seeing an improvement, haha! I had to laugh if my housekeeper is commenting on my disorganized house. (The cleaning service only cleans around our clutter).

Well, back to work ;)

Plummeting Progesterone?

O.k. maybe plummeting isn't the best word to describe my progesterone levels but my results were BAD yesterday! Plus, the nurse was not very consoling about it…I know it’s not her job to be consoling but at least a little bit would have helped.
My previous results were 51.8 now it is 34 in Zone 1. I am suppose to increase my dosage up to 200mg again 2x weekly. I asked the nurse if this is normal to have them fluctuate this much and she said no that they’ll just keep an eye on things and then she asked if I have had any problems lately. I said nothing but my swollen ankles/feet. I don’t know if the fact that I had a really bad 24 hour flu could have anything to do with my hormone levels but I just felt so sick when I heard the results. The first thought that went through my mind was I am a bad mother for not getting my levels checked when I was suppose to. I was suppose to go in at two weeks not three weeks but I was so SICK at the two week mark that I couldn’t make it.
Well, needless to say since I am already more emotional right now when I got off the phone with the nurse I went and bawled about everything, put my feet up and tried to relax for awhile because I just want to protect my baby and make sure everything is healthy…when Dh came home I had him give me another 100mg shot since I just had 100mg the night before and then I’ll begin the 200 mg on Friday. I feel so helpless with this whole progesterone thing because it is out of my control. I just hate the fact the my body is not good at producing this hormone because it makes me worry.
Since my feet and ankles have been swelling so much lately I went into CVS and took my blood pressure just to make sure and instead of wasting a trip to the midwives office. The results said normal so I guess I just need to keep putting my feet up and drinking lots of water. Has anyone else experienced really puffy feet and ankles at 24 weeks? Sorry if this post seems negative…I am just a little down right now about my results.

By the way, I did receive the letter from Dr. H.ilgers explain why I am taking the medications he has prescribed. If you don’t remember the letter was for the Midwives so that they could see that what I am taking is o.k., the reasons behind the protocol, and that there is nothing to worry about that this is a normal low-risk pregnancy. (that is what I thought the letter would say) It was instead scattered with the words “HIGH RISK”!!!! I just about died when I saw this. Doesn’t Dr. H.ilgers get it, that if my mid-wives see High Risk all over the letter why would they take me then, UGH!!!!
I think I just need to do some major praying about things and hope for God’s will with this whole situation. When I saw the endocrinologist last week she suggested that I stay on the thyroid meds throughout pregnancy instead of stopping at 28 weeks. I really liked her advice because she is going to monitor my thyroid levels throughout my pregnancy rather than just say stop the meds. Also, she said she is waiting to see what my original adrenal levels were before she makes a decision of what to do with the hydrocortisone protocol. Things are still up in the air with that decision but that is what the midwives are waiting to hear about. So I’ll just have to be patient and wait and see.
I have to get back to work now…

A Day of Nesting...part 1

Today Dh and I had a game plan to clean out our office/storage room + the hall closet and get it ready for the nursery. So, we finally finished cleaning everything out of it and basically threw a lot in the trash so we could take pictures and post the items on C.raigslist. I am so relieved to have this done. I just can't wait to sale it all and use the money for some new living room furniture. I just have to be patient now and pray that it all sales. We are also selling the crib my parents gave to us in 2008 when I was expecting so hopefully someone will want it...it's just not my taste. It feels so good to get things ready for the baby and so weird a the same time like this isn't really happening. I counted out our weekends and I hope over the next 13 weekends to get some major projects done. Since I know once summer hits (around June) we'll want to be out at my parents house soaking in their pool won't get much done then :) I just want my ENTIRE house organized and all the junk thrown out and everything to be in the right place before the baby comes...so much to do. I also sewed some new curtains for our front door so people can't see in as easily. I wish I would have done this a long time ago but Oddie would have destroyed them trying to look through the glass of the front door. But since he is not coming back I am so glad to make these curtains for some extra privacy.

Here are some pictures of the progress today. I wish I had a before pic. of the office...you couldn't have even walked in there is was so crazy packed full of stuff. By the way I think my front door looks a little creepy in these pictures, haha! I should have taken the picture during the day.

Progesterone Update (Whoo-hoo!)

Finally, after a month of not having my levels tested they finally went up :) On March 12th it was at 30 and now on April 16 it is 51.8. I am so happy to hear this. The nurse, my favorite one of course, said they are almost in the normal range at 60. So I am staying on 100mg 2x weekly. What a relief!!! I was worried that since it had been so long that maybe they had been dropping and I just wasn't aware of that. I don't think I'll wait so long in between the next set of tests...YEH!

The Business of Being Born

First I want to say a huge "THANK YOU" to all of you sweet girls that have been praying for my situation with the Mid-Wife and all. I heard from Dr. Hilger's nurse today and he has past my report off to his co-worker to write a letter explaining my treatments and then he will look over the letter once it is completed and sign his name to it. I asked the nurse then what I am suppose to do in the meantime with going to see the Endocrinologist here and getting the blood work done and she said it is up to me to listen to both sides and then make an informed decision about everything...this leaves me a little confused but that is fine. I am very used to having research things, as I made infertility research my life for quite awhile ;)

I just finished watching this very moving documentary called "The Business of Being Born" by Ricki Lake. It was very interesting to see that perspective of birth and so beautiful to see the natural deliveries. Even the ones that had to be done by C-Section were very moving. But to see the expression on the mother's faces as they held their new born baby got me all choked up. It reminded me of the last sentence in Ina May Gaskin's Book about Natural Childbirth. "Your body is not a lemon." After dealing with infertility for so long I feel like IF leaves a mental scar on my mind to think that my body is broken and not to trust it so it is very encouraging to read something like that or watch a DVD that encourages women to trust what their bodies are meant to do.

I should find out my progesterone levels today. I haven't had them tested since march 12th so I can't wait to hear how things are going. Where does the time go. i guess with Easter and all I had to skip the blood draw and now I am just anxious that everything is o.k. with my levels. We'll see...I'll keep you all posted.

A little overwhelmed! (prayers please)

I just finished typing a very long post and it all got erased…I AM LOSING IT ;)

On Monday we went to my ultra-sound appt. as I already posted about. I don’t think I mentioned how the Perinatologist went on and on about the fact that I am taking baby aspirin, T3, and hydrocortisone. I basically tuned him out while he chatted about his concerns and yada-yada. I really didn’t feel the need or interest to listen to him because I am following Dr. Hilgers’ protocol and most of the time I have found that doctors disagree with his treatments.

My mid-wife called me yesterday to tell me that the Perinatologist gave them a three page report which she said was “scary” saying that I need continuous ultra-sounds done throughout my pregnancy to monitor the growth of my baby and perhaps an extra dose of steroids during labor to help my body deal with the physical stress. WTF? I really don’t understand why he would say all of this. Needless to say the mid-wife feels uncomfortable working with me since Dr. Hilgers has no authority over what she does for me during my pregnancy and labor. I asked her if I continue to listen only to Dr. Hilgers and follow his protocol will she still keep me as a patient and her answer was basically no. We went round and round about it for about 15 minutes. She said I need to see an ER here that she knows and feels comfortable with and based on what that ER says about my thyroid, elctrolyte blood level and adrenal glands then she will decide what to do next. I went ahead and did the blood work she suggested and made an appt. with the ER for April 30th but even if the ER wants to change Dr. Hilgers protocol for me I do NOT want to!!!! I called PPVI and asked them to have Dr. Hilgers write me a letter explaining why he has me taking certain drugs and the nurse said it would be weeks before he was able to do that so she would try to get one of his fellow staff members to do so a bit sooner. In the meantime I guess I have to follow what I am being told to do here in Richmond. So I feel like these are my choices:

a) Go to the ER appt. and follow anything they tell me…
b) Find a different mid-wife at a different hospital and then not disclose all of Dr. Hilgers protocol…
c) Have a home birth
d) Any other suggestions are more than welcome.

I am just frustrated about this whole situation because it is not the first time I have come across Dr.s that disagree with Dr. Hilgers protocol.

Oh, while I am griping about things I might as well vent about the fact that I went to get my blood draw today and the registrar shouted out in front of other patients that “your face is getting FAT! Your face is chubby!” Then she proceeded to take me into the registrar office and bring her co-worker over to point out that my face is getting chubby! I said that’s nice of you to say (sarcastic of course) and she just laughed and asked me if I am eating the right foods. I told her I go to Cold Stone Ice-Cream sometime (panicking of course for some reason why I look fat) and she said “no that wouldn’t do it…are you drinking enough water?” I just wanted to die at this point. I wish people would avoid the words “fat” and “chubby” right now….

20 1/2 week ultra-sound appt.

On Monday Dh and I went to my midwife appt. and ultra-sound appt. It really went very well. The mid-wife really encourage me to start exercising a few times a week which I really needed to hear ;) It wasn't the same mid-wife as last time since the two mid-wives work together but I really like how she takes her time to answer all of our questions (which weren't very many). She gave me a list of suggested reading and a helpful dietary guideline for eating during the day. I gained 8 1/2 pounds since my last appt. almost 5 weeks ago which really FREAKED me out but she said not to worry about it all. So I thought that was nice of her. She then measure my stomach and said I am measuring 19 weeks which is normal and then we listened to the baby's heartbeat which was normal as well...After meeting with her we went down stairs to my ultr-sound appt. The ultra-sound tech was pretty nice for the most part. She was sooooo SERIOUS! The appt. lasted quite a while with all of the measurements and pictures being taken. It was amazing to see our little baby so much bigger than last time. The Dr. said everything looks normal. The baby weighs 14oz. and is measuring 20 weeks and 6 days. Unbelievable!!!! My stomach really got achy from all of the pressing down with equipment but it was just such a surreal experience. We did not find out the sex because we decided we want to be surprised. That was really hard not to look at the screen when the tech. was finding out the sex of the baby but we'll be finding out soon enough :) Thank you all for your prayers and sweet comments!!!!

By the way, Dh got to feel the baby's movements Saturday night for the first time. It was so touching to see! And the baby has been kicking/ hitting so much more lately; I just love it!

I am praying for you all as well!

P.s. I am really tired at work right now so this post is going to sound BORING!

Some Baby Bump Pictures

I finally took some baby bump pictures...

Beautiful Story about Adoption

I just thought I would post this link to this story about adoption. It got me all choked up knowing that so many of my friends are hoping to adopt soon.

http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/parents-journey-to-china-meet-adopted-children/26mnl4rd

Finally at 20 weeks and Prayer buddy revealed

Well, I am finally at 20 weeks!!!!!!!!!! I could never have imagined to make it this far. My next big appointment is this Monday and I am so excited for it. We're not going to find out the sex of the baby but I just can't wait to see how he/she has grown. I have been feeling the baby move a bit more lately and last night I am pretty sure I could feel the baby's bottom or head pressing in my lower abdomen. I pressed on a really hard spot and then the baby moved away and the spot was soft again to touch. I tried to get Dh to feel it too but the baby moved away to fast. I have been feeling a lot better in the mornings which is nice. We came back from NY late last night and I have to say it was an exausting trip. Dh really enjoyed the whole thing but I guess the traveling and visiting with everyone just wiped me out. I feel like such a baby saying that but I ended my last night there crying to Dh that I was just soooo tired! Not the usual me that's for sure. Usually (before pregnancy) I am a night owl.

I did get to get a new book while I was up there. It is called Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way and then I ordered two more books today that My Endometriosis Story recommended; The Nursing Mother's Companion and 40 Weeks +: The Essential Pregnancy Organizer I am VERY excited to get these books and start reading. That is one thing I am big on is researching and checklists :)

So, my Lenten Prayer Buddy was Suzie from these two blogs.
90 Days... Will I Make It?? and her other blog is Hope and Faith
I prayed for her daily and went to Mass during the week (as much as I could) for her. Hopefully that helped her with her special intentions :)

I have to get back to work now :(

Happy Easter (early)

Hey Girls,
I am leaving out of town early tomorrow morning so I wanted to wish you all Happy Easter before I don't have Internet access on vacation. So, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you all have a blessed one.

I have almost all of my errands done, laundry washed, dog washed, and now I just have to pack tonight. Dh and I are going to visit his family for a few days up in NY. It actually doesn't seem real that I am finally going to visit them being pregnant. I have been dreaming about this for 5 1/2 years and now it has finally come true. It all feels so surreal like it's not really happening to me. Every time I have gone to visit them I have always had the weight of infertility on my mind and now I am so freaking HAPPY to be able to visit Dh's parents with their 53 grandchild on the way. Thank you God! I am so grateful for this experience and blessing!

Yesterday my blood testing kits did NOT arrive in the mail so I couldn't go get my levels checked this time. I guess I will have to wait I think another two weeks before I able to do the blood draw again. It's to long to explain why but I did the math and I am pretty sure that's how it is going to have to work out.

So I called up my mid-wife's office yesterday to see I could just randomly come in a nd hear my babies heartbeat. She said yes. So I drove to the hospital quickly and got to hear it pounding away. I still got all choked up! Just so relieved that it's still there and still really happening to me. The nurse was super sweet and so kind about it all.

Oh, also, I took TCIE advice and started to wing myself off of the naltrexone. Now I am on 25mg. and then I figured I would reduce it to like 12mg then none at all. So far, so good. I can't wait to get off of it completely. I don't want to be taking any more drugs than I have to.

I went looking for an Easter dress today. Which is kind of stupid to go last minute because then you're just more stressed when things don't fit right ;) But so far no luck. Hopefully I'll find something after work....we'll see. I have to get back to work but HAPPY EASTER again!

P.s. so far Oddie has only peed a few times and his new owners are happy with him We'll see how long that lasts. I know Oddie and certainly don't trust him to dry it up!

Oddie says good-bye...

O.k. Oddie is leaving today and I am trying not think about it...last night I was crying in bed because I really don't want him to go but he has to. Here is a video of Oddie (we were spending quality time together). It's a rare treat when he gets to sit on my bed, supervised of course. So, all he wanted to do was sleep. Ugh! I hate having to get rid of him. Hopefully the new family he is going to will spoil him like crazy.

Oddie chillin out

Emotional Rollercoaster & (family pictures/ video)

Last week a lady had stopped by our house (unexpected to me) to see our dog since my husband had spread the word that we are giving him away. She was considering taking him on a trial basis to see how he would fit in her home. So on Friday afternoon she called my Dh and said she'll take him that evening on a trial basis for the weekend. This was all just a little to abrupt for me. We had a half an hour to get him bathed and all his dog supplies together. I was a mess to say the least I cried the whole half an hour and then when she came to get him it just happened so quickly that I was crying out by the ladies car saying good buy. of course Oddie could care less since he didn't know what was going on. He jumped in to the car and practically drove himself away he was so excited for the car ride. So on Sunday evening Dh gets another phone call. He called me to tell me he has good news and bad news. I asked him what it was. he said the good news is Oddie is coming back and the bad news is that Oddie is coming back...(very funny I know). As much I love Oddie after having him gone for the weekend it gave us a VERY clear realization of how much easier things would be without him. I asked the lady to ell me the truth...did he pee and poop all over your house? is that why you're giving him back? She said no that he just had one accident (which is nothing for Oddie) but that he seemed sad and lonely. What? Pugs seem like that anyways because of their natural facial expression. I am glad she gave it a try though...she was brave enough to keep him for two days. Yesterday I put an add up on the R.ichmond P.ug M.eetup G.roup hoping that some "pug lover" would respond. What do you know? A lady called me today who has another pug/mix dog 5 years old and is looking for a play mate for her dog. This sounds like the perfect situation. So here we go again. She is going to pick Oddie up this Friday for a trial basis and then if she likes him then she'll keep him. I just know I'll be a crying mess all over again. It is just so hard to give away your dog if you're really attached to him. And I am such a huge dog lover too, UGH! This all has been an emtional rollercoaster! Anyways, in other fertility news I wanted to tell you all that I called PPVI yesterday to see if I could reduce my dose of Naltrexone to something smaller than 50mg. I don't want to be taking that much Naltrexone if I don't have to. The nurse asked me if it is still helping me with my moods. I told her yes, but that I used to just get anxiety attacks during PMS times before my cycle would start. Naltrexone helped to relieve that. But now that I am not having cycles maybe I could have the dose reduced. She called back later that night and said that Dr. hi.ilgers said I could stop taking it all together, YEAH!!! Now I am second guessing myself and wonder if I am doing the right thing. What if I do stop taking it and then something goes wrong? Am I just over analyzing this and acting paranoid that something might go wrong? Any advice out there? Also, the nurse said I don't need to wing myself off of it. Is that true as well? Please girls let me know if you have heard anything different. I was thinking about just continuing the Naltrexone until 20 weeks but then maybe at 20 weeks I'll be to nervous to stop taking it then anyways...what should I do? Here are some pictures of my family over the last couple of weekends...the first few are when we went out to dinner before a play, and also a video of my dad's birhtday party with the family. This is my family (missing my other brother and SIL and their children Louie and me

Candice and me

My Dad, brother, sister, and SIL doing Irish Car Bombs to Celebrate St. patrick's Day (my mom was just cheering them on)

My sister and neice (I just love her smile here)

My adorable nephew

Last appointment update and video.

Things have been so crazy with trying to catch up at work since my PW obsession, haha! But I am almost caught up now and since it is Friday and I don't have Internet over the weekend then I need to post about my appointment before the next one rolls around.

Everything went really well. I like the mid wife a lot and since she is a mid wife and I assumed a little more open minded about the drugs I am taking then I went ahead and told her the whole list which she didn't even bat an eye about so I was relieved. She really
took her time answering all of our questions (which weren't very many) and then talked about how things work there at St. Francis. She was in the middle of delivering a baby while we met with her and you would have never have been able to guess that by how calm she was.

After we finished talking she had me get up on the table to hear the baby's heartbeat and see how things are going. Dh and I thought she would be able to hear the heartbeat right away like our last appointment but she really took her time listening to my blood flow (through the umbilical cord) and then finding the heartbeat...which felt like eternity! Dh and I were both stressing about how long it took which I think that's why I look so serious during the video ;) Anyways, she said that the heartbeat is about 140. So she said she would guess it's a boy...of course Dh was just beaming at the thought of having a boy, but she also said that she is definitely not certain about that and that it is strictly a guess...so we'll just have to wait another 5 months to find out. Don't ask me why but I have been guessing it's a boy the whole time. Oh, if you listen carefully on the video when the mid wife is listening to the baby's heartbeat you can hear a tap about half way through, that's because the baby kicked right where she was listening, amazing!

My next appointment isn't until April 12th so I'll be almost 21 weeks by then. I kind of wish it were sooner because my progesterone levels are starting to make me a bit worried. I know PPVI said I shouldn't be worried but I just don't understand why my levels aren't rising very high. My last two results were 32.7 and now 30 low zone 2. They said if they drop any further they will have to increase my dosage for the shots. Oh well! I asked the nurse if this is normal for a pregnancy and she said yes, not to worry so I guess I should stick with that advice...

I have had worse morning sickness lately which is weird to me that it would be getting worse instead of better. I have thrown up a few times now which is certainly nothing to complain about since a lot of other women get much sicker than that, it's just that I am a big baby about it in the morning have been late to work everyday since it is so hard to get going.

Oh, another thing, my sister took me out shopping on Saturday for some maternity clothes. She was so sweet about it. She loaded up the dressing room with tons of items and then let me pick out which ones I liked best. So freaking nice!!! I ended up with two dresses and two tops. I feel so much better in these than my old clothes. None of my pants fit anymore and some of my stretchy dresses still fit so that o.k. I actually tried to get in shape the other day and went for a two mile power walk (well I didn't actually get my heart rate up) but I came home and my legs were shaky and I felt like I ran 5 miles, seriously! I told Dh I couldn't cook dinner and went and lied down for awhile. I was exhausted!!! So I guess I'll have to build up to long walks (although two miles doesn't sound very far at all). My sister was out jogging while I walked and she passed me by on her 6 mile run and then came back for me at the end to finish my walk with me. She is a crazy jogger going to so far all the time.

Other than this not to much else has been going on...we went and saw the play "Wicked" last weekend which was VERY entertaining. it was so nice to be able to get dressed up and go out to dinner and a play for the night. I love doing things like that.

Praying for you girls to have a wonderful Feast Day of St. Joseph!!!!
xo

Falling behind...

I had an appointment on Wednesday with my new mid-wife. I love her...she is great. I can't wait to post more about everything but this week at work I am swamped with stuff to do. PW through me behind a bit, haha! Anyways, Dh took two videos as well so I will post them too. I can't believe that at my next appointment I will be 21 weeks. WOW! Time is really flying.

Checking in

Well girls, I am just checking in. I feel like there isn't really much going on in my life to post about lately so maybe as I write this post things will come to mind. I have come to the realization that I am just not myself lately...what I mean is I am incredibly "spacey". That might be the word to describe it, but I keep doing really stupid forgetful things that I never used to do. For example, I preheated the oven the other night to 450 so I could broil a bake potato. Unfortunately, I completely forgot that I stored plastic spatulas inside some pots in the oven as well. It started to smell really bad so I asked Dh to clear out the pots in the oven...that's when I realized I completely melted the handles of the spatulas onto my pots and lets just say the smell was crazy TOXIC. Not only this incident but I catch myself leaving the burner on to the stove, etc. or Dh will ask me to pick something up from the store and I drive to the store, buy everything but the items Dh asked for and then return home feeling like an idiot. It's just not like me to be so forgetful.

All this has led me to purchase renter's insurance for our house (I should have done this along time ago) but now I feel like it is necessary because I just don't trust my brain lately, haha!

I did sign Dh and I up for our Bradley Birth Classes. Yeh!!! I know it is still awhile off but classes fill up fast so I am just glad to get it off the list. I did want to do the Tues. night classes offered in the spring just because I hate the idea of Sunday evening classes during the summer but there was a problem with this. L.ost is on Tuesday nights and we can't miss that :) So, we're going to take the May-June session on Sunday evenings. I also, signed us up for a free class offered at the hospital about breast feeding and on taking care of newborns. It can't hurt to see what they have to say as I haven't ever had to take care of newborn before.

Other than this I am just about finished reading this book called, Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth.
it is really interesting and now I am considering hiring a doula to help with the whole birth as well as using a mid-wife. The nice thing is is that my Bradley Birth instructors (there are two of them) are both doulas so it will be great to talk with them about it.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that we're in the process of giving one of our dogs away. I am telling myself that this is ABSOLUTELY necessary that we do this. I seriously feel sick about it but we really have any other choice. Oddie has been my furbaby for 3 years. We drove all the way to PA (3 hours) to purchase him and I cried when I got him. Actually, I can't post much else about him or I'll start crying here at work...

Speaking of work I guess I should actually do some. I have been reading T.he P.ioneer W.oman's Love Story today and it has been a huge distraction...

Blogger's Dinner

Yesterday, A Friend of Gianna came into town for a visit. I had such a wonderful time with the girls!!! Unfortunately, AYWH wasn't able to make it because of Clara being sick (please pray for her). So it ended up that GIMH and baby E, my sister, my SIL, and myself all got together with Shannon and had dinner. Shannon was so sweet and brought me a gift. TOTALLY unexpected! it is the book "Prayerfully Expecting". I think I got that right. Anyways, I can't wait to get started ready it. THANK YOU SO MUCH SHANNON! It is always so nice when you finally get to me a blogger Friend in person. Shannon is just like how I thought she would be, super sweet and friendly. I hope she can come again and visit!!! I really liked the food the restaurant had as well. It's called the B.oat House.

Anyways, I finally went out and bout two maternity items yesterday on my lunch break. It was a very strange experience...I felt kind of out of place in the store. I ended up with a dress and a sweater. Let me just say that it is soooo much nicer to put on some loser clothing. I am down to just a few items that still fit me at home. I think 11 pounds makes a big difference to my waist line, haha! I got back my next set of Progesterone results today and they are not as great as I would like but I am still happy with them. The results are 31.8 which is High Zone 2. I am suppose to stay on the 100mg. shots still 2x per week. I was hoping that it would be higher and I could possibly stop the shots but oh well. Guess my little baby needs this stuff ;) Which is fine with me. It's just that my rear end is numb in the shot spots and super tender...

I made a point this week to finally switch hospitals and get all my records transerred to where I plan on delivering. The new hospital I am going to has two midwifes which I am really excited about. There both into natural delivery so I am relieved to find them. My SIL had nothing but good things to say about them so I am fortunate that she tried them out first ;) I am very excited that I get to meet one of the midwifes for my next appointment on March 10th, right around the corner. yeh! I hope you all have a great weekend. Many prayers!

Our baby's heart beat at 12 weeks- video attached

We got to hear our baby's heart beat on Tuesday! My computer at work crashed this week so I had to wait to get a new one so I could post about this.

It was amazing though to hear. As soon as the doctor came in she asked if we wanted to hear the heart beat first or at the end of the appointment. Of course we said first. Dr. D put the little wand on my stomach and immediately we could hear the heart beat pounding away nice and loud. Dh recorded it and I was trying to be really still so we could hear the heart beat but now I think I look more like a robot in the video. I think I was in shock with everything. It's all just so overwhelming to think this is really actually happening!!!! Thank you all for your prayers. Everything at the appointment went great. It is the last appointment I am going to have with this doctor before switching to a different hospital. I was kind of sad about that and I didn't tell the doctor either that I plan on switching because I feel like I am betraying her. She has been wonderful!!! So Pro-life and all. But I really want to have a mid-wife for delivery and not a doctor....I know that is still down the road but with insurance it is best I make the switch sooner than later.

I have already gained 10 pounds this pregnancy. Fine with me! It is very weird to see my body going through all of these changes but I really don't mind. I love every discomfort that comes with this pregnancy. I am just so grateful for this gift.

I never realized that after dealing with IF how sensitive I would be to other peoples comments! I think it is that the wounds of IF always seem so fresh that they just make me more sensitive to comments. I know people have the best intentions and I am thankful for that...I am praying for you girls extra hard begging God to bless you too. It just breaks my heart to hear of some of you waiting for baby. Many, many prayers, coming your way!

Here is the video from my last appointment. I was camera shy and sppechless :) Turn up the volume so you can hear the beating of our baby's heart. So precious!

Bloggers come to visit!

Yesterday was so wonderful! I can't believe it had been about 6 months since I last saw Life Hopes and Sew Infertile. Where does the time go? We got to meet at All you Who Hopes House with Grace in My Heart. I couldn't believe that just a few short months ago all of us were childless and ten to see that 3 of us have babies, Sew should have Foster children any time, and I have a baby on the way was just amazing! Such a miracle to see how God has blessed us and worked in our lives so wonderfully. I wish I brought my camera to take pictures but I am so forgetful lately that I didn't think of that ;( Maybe I will snag one of the other girls pictures who was there :)! Anyways, even though it seemed like such a short visit it was nice just to be together again. I was under the weather so I felt so out of it sitting there visiting but still it is such a joy to have such good friends!!! I just can't believe all the good news around here lately. Not to mention Praying for Hope and Tucked Beneath His Wing (and her sister) being pregnant. This is such wonderful news!

I have been sick with a cold recently and trying just not to take anything since I am still early on in my pregnancy. I called and changed my next ultrasound appt. from Thurs. to Tues. so that I can go in two days earlier. Those extra 48hrs. are a killer since I am so impatient!!! So now I have the appt. on Tues. February 9th. I just hope to hear my little babies heart beat pounding away...please God.

The nurse at PPVI called today and said my progesterone level are at 34.6! Zone 3 again and here I have been on half the dose of progesterone so I thought for sure my levels would drop, but they didn't they rose again. The nurse said that she thinks I will only have to stay on the progesterone for the first trimester!!! What? I told her I didn't care if i had to take those shots every hour if that's what i have to do to stay pregnant and she said she understood. But that's good news if I don't have to stay on the shots the whole pregnancy :) I am on cloud nine! Thank you all for your prayers.

10 weeks!

Yesterday I was 10 weeks pregnant finally. I feel like this first trimester is the slowest thing ever just because I want to be sure everything is o.k. it is funny how I just can't be care free about this pregnancy. i really think that after dealing with infertility for so long that it just trained me to think in a distrustful way about my body. As if I am more prone to think my body is working against me than with me. I hate thinking like that or even having to talk myself out of thinking like that.

I was watching this clip on the p.regnology site of a fetus at 10 weeks. It really is amazing to think that at this stage the fetus is actually moving around...I am in aw over this!!! I just can't believe I am making it this far. Last time it was at ten weeks that I miscarried even though the baby had stopped growing at about 5 weeks.

I have to say a "BIG" thank you to one of the bloggers out there who has been so encouraging wit sharing such positive information with me about pregnancy and birth. I just love the information you have given me...yeh!

Other than this not much has been going on just because I am still so tired! I haven't even been over to visit AYWH for lunch because I feel like I am just trying to survive the day....sorry AYWH :( maybe in a couple weeks I'll be feeling up to it :)

Results!

I am using my sister's iPhone to post real quick since I don't have Internet. I got the results late Friday evening. My progesterone levels rose to ZONE 3! It is 29.2. The nurse asked for me to decrease my shots from 200mg to 100mg. I am kind of nervous about doing that but oh well. I am very excited about these results. I get to get them tested again in two weeks. Thank you all for the prayers :)

Happy Birthday to My Husband!

Today is Dh's 37th birthday, yeh, PPAAARRRTTTYYY!!!! We just love celebrating birthdays at our house. So usually the night before we'll do something special for either of our birthdays and then continue do special gestures through out the "birthday week". This time is different though. I couldn't stay awake until midnight to sing Happy Birthday to Dh. I couldn't wake up in time to cook a special breakfast. But as he reminded me "it's o.k. your doing a lot of work having the baby grow in you". Isn't that sweet of him?

I know my Dh doesn't read my blog to often but I just wanted to say how special he is to me. I am so glad that his mother chose life for her # 7 child on this day 37 years ago. I am so happy that God in His providence brought us together from NY and CA to finally meet in VA. Happy Birthday to my Sweetheart!

Now on to progesterone results...NOPE! Still don't have them! The nurse at PPVI just had me call the lab to see if they ever received them. The lab called back and said they did receive them but just not the doctors order with it and maybe she over looked it. Now I KNOW I put that order in the the envelope!!!! I remember folding it up quickly in the p.ost office line so noboby could see what it was and stuffing it in the overnight package. The fact that she didn't see it in there probably has slowed down getting the results...which they said aren't ready yet :(

Since I don't know what my results are I rushed home today on my lunch break for Dh to give me a shot in my bottom. Which (TMI) really bled a lot. Is that normal? Does that mean we're doing something wrong if there is a lot of blood? Well, I just can't wait to get home and sit on my heating pad, Oh heating pad I miss you, haha! Happy Friday!

Waiting on progesterone results

I am waiting for PPVI to call me tomorrow and let me know what my progesterone levels are. I am just praying they are going up or doing better than last time. I keep thinking everything must be going o.k. if I am still having pregnancy symptoms; sore breasts, hungry all the time, major acne problems, headaches if I am not drinking tons of water, and I am so tired I am in bed by eight or crying because I am tired and want to go to bed, haha! This is just me thinking out loud convincing myself that things are o.k. Honestly it would be nice to just be able to have an ultrasound everyday so I know things are o.k. even though I know that is really unrealistic! Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I had to call and cancel my acupuncture this week because we can't afford it. well, I had my sister call and pretend she was me because I was to embarrassed to cancel the appt. I am hoping that two weeks of skipping it won't do any harm, right? it's just that $80-$100 per week really adds up super fast!!!!

For those of you that have taken medications while pregnant, has anyone stayed on naltrexone 50mg, or hydrocortizone 5mg 4x per day? I thought last time I was pregnant that Dr. H. said it was up to me how long I stayed on naltrexone, but now I can't remember. I know I can just call PPVI about this but I thought I would wait until they call me tomorrow with the Progest. results.

Other than this not much has been going on. We are going out to my parent's house tonight for dinner and watch American Idol, yeh! My mom is such a wonderful cook that I always look forward to eating her food. Plus, food is my main focus lately, haha!

A Wonderful Surprise

I have got to say how HAPPY I am to find out that my sister and mom paid for a housekeeping service to come in and clean my frightening looking house. My sister started interviewing housekeepers about two weeks ago. It was pretty interesting. She had to write an add for it and I think she described me as crippled because people responded about her "poor sister" basically, haha! Anyways, fine with me as long as I get some help. Two of the ladies that intervied were foriegn and I swear they didn't look like their pictures and then the third lady got the job because we could clearly communicate with her what exactly we wanted done. Anyways, I stopped by on my lunch break to see how the house was looking and was just in "AH" of their work...amazing. The lady brought her sister as well to help out. I am just dying to get home and see how the rest of the house looks. They cleaned everywhere, even under my oven!!! All I can say is thak you, thank you, thank you, to my sister and mom. This was such a nice gesture. They didn't want me to stress out about my house since I work two jobs already and they didn't want me around the cleaning products since I am pregnant. Even thinking about cleaning my house wipes me out so hense the disaterous state it is in! Oh, my goodness this means so much to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!