Temporary Change

I am not sure if this is going to be temporary or not but we moved Lucy to her crib at night. Last night was her third night sleeping in it through the night. Every night I have cried because I miss having her right next to me. She doesn't seem to mind being in her crib as far as I can tell. Lucy is used to sleeping in it during her nap times but I just HATE not having her next to me during the night. I miss waking up and seeing her sleeping peacefully next to me or seeing her raise her head and look at me and smile. I get choked up just thinking about it. I know this isn't any situation that has to be permanent but I also don't want to be changing my mind back and forth and moving her from one bed to the next since it is not fair to her. So far though she seems to be sleeping better and so do I...(I think). If she wakes during the night and wants to play for an hour then she can and I can't hear her nearly as well as having her right next to me so there is a better chance of me getting more sleep if she is refusing to sleep. last night though she slept after her 12:30am feeding until 6:15am. I woke up and was shocked! I even asked Dh if he had heard her at all during the night because I never did. I guess she must have just been very tired from a day of just having cat naps but still I feel GREAT this morning after having that much sleep in one night.
I am not sure if we're going to keep her in her crib or not but at the moment it seems to be working.
I have so many mixed feelings about having her sleep in the crib away from me. Tell me I am not crazy but I keep thinking what if this is the only baby I am ever able to have and now this phase is over and I will never have it again... After dealing with infertility I feel like I am full of "what if's". Like what if this is going to be the last time for this or that, etc. Does anyone else ever think this way. I guess that is why I am telling myself it is not permanent her sleeping in her crib so that if I just can't handle it then I'll move her back next to me at night.

On a lighter note Lucy is getting so big and changing so much. She is about 5 1/2 months now and weighs about 20 Ibs.! I am still only nursing her and will probably do so for the next couple of months since we both love it so much. Yesterday morning Dh picked her up out of her crib and brought her to bed with us in the morning while I was still waking up. Lucy reached out and put her hands on both our faces. It was so precious to see her explore our faces with her chubby hands. Oh my goodness I just love her so much!

********Updated********
I moved Lucy back to my room last night and she woke up to play again only an hour and half after nursing. She was up for an hour.I moved her to her crib after that and she slept really well. Could the problem be that she sleeps better in her crib? Her co-sleep is MUCH firmer...Is it because her nursery is darker and my room is a bit brighter, or can she smell that I am there next to her and that wakes her up? I am pulling my hair out over this because I want to do attachment parenting with her but were both not sleeping as well side by side right now...UGH!

Help! I need sleep and so does Lucy!!!! (ADVICE WANTED)

Although Lucy sleeps in a co-sleeper next to me and not in a crib, I think this image says it all :)
Help! I need sleep and so does Lucy!!!!
Advice wanted:
Lucy has been waking up at either 2:30 am and 4:30am for an 1 1/2 hours at a time wanting to play... this is not counting the other times during the night she is up to nurse. Any suggestions how to get her to sleep more during the night? She is about 5 1/2 months now. Suggestions are welcome :) How do you get your baby to sleep through the night or at least longer periods of sleep through the night?

She used to go to bed at about 7:30pm wake at about 2:00am then up for the day at 6:00am and start her day. Now for example she is asleep at 7:00pm, up at 11:30pm nurse, 12:30pm nurse, 2:00am nurse and diaper change (in the dark), 4:40am - 6:00am wanting to play. I nursed her twice and then she finally fell asleep with me bounce her and rocking her. Up at 7:30am to start the day.

She has progressively gotten worse at sleeping since about 4 1/2 months. Does this have to do with teething???? I am so tired;( Luckily she is a good napper during the day, which why wouldn't she be after be up so often at night.

How do you other mom's get your babies to sleep?

A new little hobby

Finally changed my blog page, woo-hoo!!!

I have been figuring out how to use my camera lately. Poor Lucy has had the camera in her face for the last couple of days. I am tired of all my pictures looking blah.
I would love to get a really nice camera because some of these blogs I see where the pictures are just gorgeous make me despise my camera more and more. Until I am able to get a new one I figured I should probably learn to use the one I have, haha!
Here are a few that I like best...



These two are of my twin sister and my Sweet Pea



Now I am off to bed...sweet dreams :)

NaProTechnology promoted!

Yeh, I just love reading articles like this one!

It is really a breath of fresh air to read an article about infertility referring to NaProTechnology instead of IVF.

Thank you Dr. Hilgers :)

Lucy and her stroller

Lucy has never liked her stroller. I tried putting her in it for test drives around the house. At three months I attempted taking her around the block in it with no success. But today finally at a nearly five months Dh and I took her for a walk to S.tarbucks. The walk was wonderful! I think I see a new future for the stroller us :)

Clearly we are proud parents!

P.s. After 6 weeks of having a broken down car it is finally fixed thanks to my Dh and FIL. I am doing a happy dance right now!

Afternoon beer

I was up at 5:30am with Lucy. I had to walk a mile to the bank with a 19 Ib. baby in my arms (she hates her stroller)...
Who cares if my house looks like it exploded and my Father-in-law is coming to town to visit. I just can't make things look perfect today.
Lucy is napping. Time to kick my feet up!!!!
It is time for an afternoon Guiness and some Grey's Anatomy :) Shh! My guilty pleasure!

Feeling like blah...

I know I don't post very often anymore and it is probably because I don't know where to start . I feel like I need to catch up with my life but that certainly isn't going to happen any time soon.

So let me start from today. I feel like blah. I have a cold and Lucy is still getting over her cold. She has been waking up lately (for the past week) 4-5 times a night. It is killing me. I started going to bed at 9:30pm so I can keep up with getting up at night but I have insominia lately so I just lie there awake anxious that she is going to wake up soon. I am so wiped out during the day and then I can't handle the stress of just everyday life because I am TIRED! I feel like I sound like a BIG BABY. and I know this is probably just a phase Lucy is going through but this is a hard phase right now. I think she is teething and this is causing her to wake up. She is always looking for her hand during the night to chew and and then she bites her finger and cries. She is even biting me now nursing at night or during the day. Luckily no teeth yet so it doesn't hurt to bad, but it does hurt, ouch! While I am complaining I'll add I have an ingrown to nail that has been killing me for a month now. I am embarrassed to say I have one but I do and now I have to go to the doctors for it. I went to the doctors yesterday and left Lucy home with my mom. It was a frustrating appointment. At the most I thought I would be gone 1 1/2 hours but I was at the doctors for 3 hours and finally I was so emotional about leaving Lucy that long that I just put my coat on and left the doctors office. I didn't even get to be seen because the wait was so crazy long, ugh! I missed Lucy so badly and was dying to nurse her that I just knew as soon as the doctor came in to see me I would have been a crying mess so that is the reason I left.

So, this is my tangent post of complaints for now and believe it or not I have tons more but I need to just stop griping now and probably try taking a nap so I can cope with this rainy day. Sorry for being so negative...

Can I blame my bad mood on hormones???