I guess I have just been in the "not talking about things mood" lately. I don't know what my problem is but those HCG injections usually do it to me. I mean I just get a bit "blue" during the 2WW. Does it seem like any of us are going to have a beautiful success story after all this IF stuff. I was so sad to here about Life in Mazes loss. I was bawling most of the day for all of us IF women. It just broke my heart to hear that after such a long journey of ttc she would lose her baby. It just scares me for the future. (I hope you don't mind me saying that). Will it ever get any easier for any of us? I really don't know what direction to turn to next for ttc. I mean as Catholics are options are so limited that I am wondering what route of treatment is going to get us a BFP. I suppose this mood was probably also brought on by the fact that I went to my previous town for a visit. It is always such a painful visit. The Catholic community there is literally full of babies/children everywhere. Seriously my IF stands out like a sore thumb because EVERYONE has babies one after another. I am embarrassed like people look at Dh and me and think, "Oh, poor L.ou got a broken wife". Because it is true I am physically broken and it is obvious to everyone. I just can't stand it!!! F.acebook is another place where IF seems to slap me in the face because everyone does Mommy quizzes, pregnancy/ birth announcements, childrens pictures, etc. My Dh has actually told me to stop going on that site just because of how sad I get afterwards. Does anyone else have a hard time with F.acebook as well?
Today is CD 28 and I am P+12. I am going to POAS tomorrow and Sunday morning just to see if the HCG is fading away by now. I really don't feel like this cycle is it. I already have cramps so I am just waiting for AF right now. I got my P+8 results back and they were just so-so. Especially since I did have a HCG injection the day before. Here are the results:
Progesterone - 23. 5
Estrodial - 10 Should be greater than 12, but the nurse said it wasn't anything to worry about. (Of course I am going to over analyze this though).
I wonder what the results would have been if I had taken it on P+7. Hopefully next month I'll get to. We should get our chromosome test results back on June 1st. FINALLY! Supposedly it will tell us if we are predisposed match for recurrent miscarriage. I don't know how they can tell this but we'll see what the doctor has to say about this.
So here is the good news this week. I got offered the job I wanted at St. B.enedict C.atholic S.chool. It is the same school where my husband teaches. Anyways, I am VERY excited about this opportunity but I am concerned about how much they will pay me. If it is to low I will be unable to take it. Honestly I am not money hungry we just need enough to pay the bills. The great thing about this job is that I get to work with children, be creative, and really put into practice the things I learned through my student teaching experience. God willing this will all work out well.
Oh, I also FINALLY found some long skirts this summer. I have been looking EVERYWHERE for some that were actually long and cheaply priced. If anyone else is looking for some I found them at N.ew Y.ork and C.ompany and the G.ap. Yeh, Dh let me splurge and get 6. I am trying to make a real effort to dress more feminine and modest, but not l.ittle h.ouse on the p.rairie. haha! That's not to say I am getting rid of my pants and stuff. Don't worry I am not going extreme :)
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SH**! I am spotting! :(
Amber, Congrats on the job offer! I really hope it works out and you'll be able to take it!
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time with fb too...I also have had a hard time the past week since I think everyone we know is either pregnant or already has a child...thank goodness for infertile buddies! I understand how you're feeling, but don't worry, you aren't broken...you were pregnant once and I truly feel it will happen for you again- keep plugging. xoxo
I also have a VERY hard time with fb and I find that I am more likely to go on there looking for baby pictures and all that when I'm depressed! Why do I do that to myself?
ReplyDeleteI know how tough it is, but I agree with L, you aren't broken. You were pregnant once and you will be again. Although I don't mean to imply that those of us who have never conceived are broken. I was actually thinking today how maybe we need to focus on all the things our bodies do right.. like breathe, digest, all the miracles it does every second, instead of the one thing it can't do. Easier said than done though!
And congrats on the job! I really hope you can accept it!
Congrats on the job! Some days I am thankful for my job and it continually reminds me to be thankful for my life (bc I work with dysfunctional families).
ReplyDeleteWhen I have lower estrodial post peak, I am more depressed. Oh what an important hormone estrogen is!
I hate that my story caused so much sorrow for you. It was a strange thing to happen, like only 2% of all pregnancies are ectopic.
ReplyDeleteI believe too that you will find yourself with a BFP. It seems easier to believe it will happen for others.
When I get around my old college friends, I am the only one among my friends with no babies, si I know your pain and FB can be very painful.
I just said a prayer for you and I hope you can enjoy your weekend. I also hope the new job offer works out!
My progesterone was 21.5 (I think) on P + 8. I think that is great numbers for progesterone. But I have no idea.
ReplyDeleteDang it! What color is your spotting? U still might be okay! R u going to test in the morning?
I am dying to get to P + 7 to get my blood drawn! Dying! :)
Every single picture I see you in you are wearing a dress. I think you have the feminine modest dress down to a T. :) I want one of those long dresses but I feel like every one that I try on adds pounds to me. But I think they are gorgeous! I wanted one to wear on the plane to Hawaii! :)
I totally agree about facebook! It almost always depresses me. Good luck with the job! What grade/subject are you looking to teach??
ReplyDeleteFB is Satan :(
ReplyDeleteI had the same urge for long feminine skirts a few weeks ago, and ended up only finding ONE that I liked... but also 3 dresses :) Maybe the fact that I was in DRESS Barn should have been my first clue, lol! Anyway, I'll have to check out NY & Co. Thanks for the tip!
I feel the same way as you about hope for the future with all the bad news around here lately. I, too, bawled my eyes out after LIM's loss- thinking about that, and Sissy and Barbie's failed adoptions... it really is just not fair, and I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT!
I'm glad to hear about the job offer, though. Good for you! And the chromosome test, that will be great to get those results!