Is it just me or does it seem like quite a few of us our a bit down right now to say the least. It makes me so sad to see how IF affects all of our lives. Almost every blog I have read lately has to do with being down which really shows just how hard IF is. For me I think it just might be because the holidays are coming. I used to really look forward to this time of year but since dealing with IF it has become a time of year I dread. I always long for a baby to complete our family more so this time of year than any other. Does anyone else feel this way? Sometimes I allow myself to dream what it will be like to share these holidays with a little one in my arms. But it seems so far off!!! Yesterday I stumbled across some baby clothes I have tucked away in my P.j. drawer. I hurried and stuffed them under some clothes so I wouldn't have to think about things.
I can't believe in a couple weeks, Nov.8 will be the anniversary of the cycle I first conceived on. Where does the time go? I really imagined things being different at this point. I thought for sure I would conceive already since everyone said your most fertile after miscarrying...wrong! I certainly didn't conceive right away. But then again, Dr. H.ilgers didn't let me start taking any drugs until three whole months after miscarrying. Maybe that was a mistake to wait so long. Who knows...I guess only God does when it comes down to it and for now I would be better off trusting His will for me rather than second guessing everything that has happened over the last year.
Praying for you girls!!!!
First of all, I'm so glad you are public again! It is much easier for me to stalk you this way, haha, jk! Anyway, so happy! I hear ya- I've been pretty down lately myself. It just stinks...I'll be thinking of you on Nov. 8...maybe we can plan a Can Can breakfast that day?
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way about the holidays. They used to be my favorite time of year, but now it's just too much to think about how we had hoped for so many years now to have a little one to share those family traditions with.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, the holidays make IF so, so hard. I used to dream that I would announce to my family and friends during Christmas festivities, but that hasn't happened, yet.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this year I'll write a letter to Santa so he could bring me a baby for Christmas!
Oh, the holidays can be the worst!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you're public again.
I just wanted to stop over and say HI. I am happy you are public again. More girls out there can find one another and read our stories....from emotional struggles to diets :)
ReplyDeleteYou know I didnt really share a lot from January to July - there were too many people in town that read my blog for me to be honest about my feelings.. work people, etc. But I was really down before getting pregnant. I hated the shots. And I traveled so much for work that some months we totally missed. George would get so concerned about me when I would call him at work, in the middle of the day, to tell him my period started. I would sound so down. So while I didnt share much... I just wanted to let you know, I know how you feel.
George and I included all you guys in our evening prayer tonight, we do every night.
Love
Nicole
I told J tonight that I am really feeling even more down right now because of all the holidays and family gatherings that are coming up, especially bc I was due on Dec. 26. All of it stinks right now. I am just trying really hard to keep my faith right now.
ReplyDeleteAs if IF doesn't make life difficult enough, it is just so hard on a marriage. I told J tonight that my heart is just broken right now.
I am praying for you and thank you so much for your continued prayers and support.
Christmas is a hard time...no doubt. I just glance at the Christmas cards of our friends and families with children...I dread reading the newsletters that include another preg announcement. I'm like the others in that...I too...long to be the one with a big announcement at Christmas! I would invision how we would tell people...when I do that now...I pinch myself really hard and focus on something else. Crazy huh? I hope this Christmas is better since I'm accepting that different place God wants me to be in...which in a way is a "I don't give a rip anymore" type of place. Don't know if that's good or what...but it's where I am at.
ReplyDeleteLet's all pray that us IF'ers can offer up our sufferings and make this Christmas a happy one!
I still enjoy the holidays, but I was thinking only yeterday that it would be nice not to wonder what it would be like to have children as baking Christmas cookies. I continually think of all the traditions I'd love to pass on but can't. It puts a damper on things.
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard time for IFs since the holidays are such a family-focused time. I think the only reason that I'm not completely crazy is that my surgery is schedule for December.
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