Many changes...

We have had a lot going on lately!!!! Some of you already know our news , we're moving! Yup, as much as I don't want to it really is a necessary move for us! My husband just couldn't pass up the new job opportunity and so this move should really be beneficial in the long term :)
We are going to be living in or near auburn ny. If anyone lives near there please feel free to contact me because I would love to have some friends there ;)

In cycle news I started taking hcg injections again. I am not ovulating until day 21 and only have an 8 day lp so hopefully this should help out!

Also, I want to try doing the whole 30 challenge. I think it would be really good for me so I just might record what I eat on this blog for 30 days. I was suppose to start today but after a really long night with kids and just trying to survive today FB came home and asked if I wanted a bagel sandwich a mocha from my favorite place... I just couldn't resist!!!! Ug! Off to a rough start!

My kids are getting so big! I don't really feel like Charlie is a baby because he walks so well and he is ALL boy, super tough but such a lover!!! Lucy is really developing her own train of thought like shell say, you look cute mama ( as I stand naked with tiger print underwear on). I lover her sweet comments! And not so sweet like stop it mama! We're working on that! Anyways, I only have my iPhone to type this on so there are going to be plenty of mistakes in this postp. Just wanted to update a bit.

Has anyone done the whole 30 challenge? Any tips on how to do itsuccessfully?

Update/ ramblings...CD 7

I am horrible with making time to blog! I know that! I just have a hard time juggling everything and blogging...I am still learning!
I don't know where to begin so I'll just start rambling :) I was thinking I need to record some things for my own sake so I can go back and re-read them in the future, like past cycle information, baby stuff, etc.

So, Valentines Day was CD1 for me. Strange! So strange! This is my first cycle after Charlie's birth and I was actually anxious for it to return. I want to have another baby. I miss the infant stage. Charlie is my little wild man. He is 10 months now and just on the verge of walking any day now. Unbelievable to me! When I compare my two little ones they are night and day different. I feel like half the time I have to wrestle Charlie to nurse because he is so active he doesn't want to hold still and then on the other hand tonight was the first day Lucy ever went without nursing...(please don't be criticle of me for this) I have left weaning up to her. If she is hysterical or just really upset about not nursing I don't say no to her. But if she handles me distracting her with something else (milk in a a sippy cup) then we opt for that. She was 2 1/2 yesterday and getting to be such a big girl. I started potty training her today and she was so proud of herself when she went on her little potty. Charlie is still sleeping in our room. Things have kind of spun out of control with that situation. Dh has been on the couch going on three weeks now becuase he sleeps so badly with Charlie in our room. Charlie loves to wake up and play if he sees us all in the same room. So Dh is on the couch, I sleep on Dh's side of the bed now and I made a barracade on my side of the bed so Charlie can't see me from his pack n play. Sounds crazy, I know, I agree! But we are trying to transition Lucy to her own big girl's bed (which she won't stay in) and Charlie to a crib. I tried to switch them all on Valentine's night (stupid me) but all hell broke lose and by the end of the night everyone was moved back to there orginal sleeping spot...nuts! I think Dh and I are still traumatized to try to move them again. Back to the kids now. Charlie has 8 teeth, which he grinds pretty often. He is super strong and tough. He falls down A LOT and hits his head all the time but nothing stops him. He is very stubborn but also very affectionate. SUPER snugly, and loving. He is very social, and LOVES people. LOVES to be where the action is. He is just like his daddy!!! But looks like a Meza (that is my side of the family). Lucy is very artistic. She can color or do crafts or any other detailed thing for hours. She loves to sing! yeh! We sing all the time. She loves to sing the Sound of Music Song Lonely Goatherd (that's the clip we play over and over) Her favorite show is Caillou. She loves us to read stories to her. She loves Sweet Frog Yogurt. Her white (used to be white) blanket has to be with her for her to sleep. Charlie is a thumb sucker. He has a green and white blanky that is a must for him as well. He snuggles with it all the time. That blanky is almost always on my shoulder when I hold him because he loves it so much. His hair fits his personality because it is wild. The more I brush it, the bigger it gets :) He mostly eats plain whole fat yogurt with a bit of raw maple syrup. He eats real food 1-2 times a day and he is 24 pounds apx. He drinks raw milk in a sippy cup. He seems to be transitioning between two naps to one nap a day. Although I am hoping he'll stick to two naps a bit longer.They are awesome kids, seriously the best, but I am biased of course :)

So that is my children update for now. Mostly for my own records :)

Oh yeh, about my cycle I think it was really weird. I was actually using OPK's and got a + for ovulation. I had 10KL several times as well so we did ttc hoping to get pregnant before a cycle ever returned but then then about 4 days later was:
Cd1 M  r (started late evening)
Cd2 H r
Cd3 M r
Cd4 VL r (so light no pad)
Cd5 0
Cd6 0
Cd7 6K 1x

Is that normal to have a 2 1/2 day period???? I had no bad cramps which was AWESOME! Just a dole achy feeling. I didn't have to take any Advil, so different than my past history!!!! I am hoping my cycle gets regular over the next couple months. I would love to conceive again, God willing. I love my babies, I love my crazy hectic days, cuddling with them, laughing with them, watching them just be them...I never thought I would be so blessed. God has blessed us abundantly. I couldn't help when I started my cycle this time to cry because all of my fears of infertility all the memories of ttc and heartaches are so vivid to me when I start my cycle. I pray I never have to go through that suffering again.I cried because that is the reaction I am used to having when I see my cycle. Does that make any sense? To me a cycle has always reminded me of my infertility...So for the time being I am attempting to slowly go back on the endo diet. I am taking hydrocorticone 5mg. 4x per day, pre-natals, and I started running again with the kids. I still have 25 pounds I would like to lose. But I have a goal of losing it by the end of April :)

I hope you all are having a blessed lent! Many prayers for you all!!!

Perspective

I have been thinking a lot about my last post and since I don't post often and then I decided to rant about Dh's and my Christmas plans in a negative light I don't want anyone to misconstrue that we are having marriage problems or that are marriage is in a bad state. The more I have prayed about this the more I can't help but think about Our Lady and her journey to the manger in Bethlehem to give birth to Christ. Here it is the Christmas Season and how appropriate for me to try to better understand the birth of Christ; Our Lady giving birth in an unfamiliar place, amongst strangers, away from home, etc. How can I complain? I am not sleeping in a manger, I have my family with me, I am blessed to have two beautiful babies, I have my husband by my side taking care of us. I really think in order for me to enjoy this Christmas I need to change my perspective! There was a time when I didn't have children when I would have done anything, suffered anything to have them. I really think I need to count my blessings! I am blessed this year to spend Christmas with my husband. There are many families who are not as fortunate. Also, I have my children. I get to be with, hold them in my arms and see their faces light up on Christmas morning. We will have many family members, and friends to rejoice with us in Christ's birth this season and that is truly a blessing! What I need to do is ask myself how can I make the most out of this Christmas for my family. What can I bring with us and plan for us to make this Christmas Eve and Christmas day extra special. So, if anyone has any suggestions on how to do this away from home please share. in the meantime I will be praying for God to please help me to be the wife and mother He is calling me to be this Christmas. It may not be what I have in mind but how can God mold me in to who He wants me to be if I am unwilling to respond "Fiat" like the Blessed Mother said. I need to be a trusting wife and mother to the head of my home!

Bad Day! (majorly negative post)

You ever have one of those days that just seem like it is one bad thing after another???? Today is that day for me! I just want to go back to bed and start over. But the issues that arose today are still going to be there tomorrow and I have to face them. One thing about having children is that I can't just mope and lie around like I used to if I were unhappy. I have to act like everything is o.k because they are watching me so closely even though I just want to sit on the couch and cry!!!!

I was looking forward until Christmas but I just want it to be over with!!!! I could just scream! This is my situation in a nut shell. We ended up going up to NY to see Dh's best friend and family and relatives for Thanksgiving because my family was out of town and Dh's best friend's mother has been diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing treatments...long story. Anyways, Thanksgiving SUCKED! We were up there for 8 days. The kids and us were exhausted! Charlie got sick after a few days and both kids slept horribly which means we slept horribly as well. I was exhausted from bad nights of sleep and super lonely. Dh spent 6 out of 8 nights at best friend's mother's house while I went to bed with the kids. I just like to spend holidays especially close with Dh and now that we are going up to NY again for Christmas it's going to be me and the kids alone again a lot of the time. I know that there will be his family for him to pass me off to but do you ever feel like you can visit with everyone and still feel like your all by your self? i don't want to spend Christmas up there this year!!!!!!!! I want to wake up in my own house with the children's stalkings hanging, baking some nice things, having a Christmas Tree, and a baby Jesus in our manager, making traditions, and spending quality TIME TOGETHER! Now we will be staying in a empty house, just us, that is so unfamiliar to me and the kids. I am so angry that I don't have a say so in this. I have already cried about this tonight. I am so BUMMED OUT. That I am not looking forward to Christmas this year. Let's just get it over with and move on! I am not saying that I don't want to go to NY at all during Christmas but why not just a couple days after Christmas????WHY?WHY? WHY? I am off to bed because I can't even think straight about this. I am FUMING!

By the way, I don't have time to edit this post so it is seriously a ranting post. may not even make sense ;)

Just a little Update

I know this year I get the worst blogger ever award! It has been awhile since I last updated but I really feel I sometimes either have to much to say that I don't know where to start or I am just always about to type the same old thing...I am tired, overwhelmed with my house and responsibilities, love being a mom, time is going by fast, etc!

So I'll just update starting with today. I really had all these hopes of a perfect Advent. Some special tradition everyday with scripture readings, lighting our Advent Candles, lovely crafts. Things aren't going as planned. Maybe because I am not good with planning things. The thought of taking both the kids out the house to do more than one errand wipes me out! I really wish I had all my decorations up, Advent readings, crafts going on, and unlimited funds to do all of this but that just isn't it how things are this year...

I ordered this ebook today called Organized in 20 days. I am really hoping to get my life in order. Right now I am frustrated with how cluttered and unplanned things are. SERIOUSLY frustrated!!! I just want to empty everything out of my house and start fresh!

And of course I need to update on my cycle news :) Since this is a blog about fertility, right? Well, I don't have my cycle back yet. Charlie just turned 8 months and I am ready for another baby!!! He is so big and active!!! I really don't feel like he is a little baby any more. He is now 23 Ibs, has 6 teeth, crawling, standing up in his bed (co-sleeper), totally opposite than Lucy. I have started giving him some samples of food here and there, but he just gags and doesn't seem very interested. I would like to get my cycle back to ttc again. Charlie sleeps with me all night though and nurses A LOT during the night which is very differnt than Lucy was. I am wondering if I won't get my cycle back until I completely stop nursing Lucy as well. She is still nursing 3-4 times a day. I guess time will tell if all that nursing makes a differnce.

Have to run now, baby crying!!!

UPDATE: Prayers Please (Somewhat urgent)

Please remember my twin sister, Candice, in your prayers today... She is in Omaha having surgery this morning with Dr. H.ilgers. I am sure she is nervous and scared and emotional right now as many of us have experienced. I really wish I could have been there for her like she was for me but she has an awesome husband to support her there. I'll keep you all updated with how things go. prayers for her please!!!! *****update***** Dr. H.ilgers found to much endo during the lap today. So, the only thing I really know is that they are scheduling another surgery two months from now to take care of everything they discovered :( My poor sister!!!! At least I know she is in good hands! I was hoping things wouldn't be that bad for her but I guess tomorrow Dr. H.ilgers will discuss everything with her and her hubby! Thank you for the prayers for her :) Please keep them coming!!! P.s. It is rough being a twin...I am dying to be with her right now :(

LONG vacation!

I know I haven't blogged in a while, oops! But I do enjoy reading everyone elses posts when I get a chance :) Charlie is now three months old tomorrow! I can't believe it!!! Time is passing so quickly. I really think I have had a much easier time post partum because of taking hydrocortizone! I love that stuff. It really does the trick. For now this post will be about the long vacation we are on. I am sooooo freaking HOME SICK! Dh couldn't find work in Richmond for the summer so we are up in Syracuse, NY living with his parents for about 6 weeks. We have been here already for almost three weeks and I miss our home, my space, our routine, cooking, cleaning, our friends, my family, EVERYTHING! I really need to just suck it up and be grateful for the time with my husband's family and the work offered to him, but I am a baby about things...I just need to pray about this more so I can be a peace with God's will right now. So this is my complaining post! I want to go home ;)