Sometimes IF feels like a bad dream. I seriously have to wonder sometimes if I am living a bad dream of not being able ttc. Like any moment now I am going to wake up coming back from my honeymoon and actually seeing a + on the pregnancy test and we live happily ever after...Oh, that would have been so nice!
Not that things have been that rough over the years but IF has been my nightmare! I remember thinking in college about those poor girls I knew who were married and weren't able to have children. I thought surely that is not going to happen to me, right? Wrong!!! So many of my girlfriends have one baby after another and I just don't get how sex results in having a baby. It just seems so difficult!
I have been slacking off on this cycle to say the least...I am tired of trying I guess. I think the fact that my 5 year anniversary is next month is just getting me down. I really thought I would have children before 5 years. Where does the time go? Sometimes I feel like panicking because we don't even have things going on the adoption route either so both doors feel closed.
Today is CD 13 and all I have so far is 6LK. Ah, I hope I get a definitive 10 KL soon. Clomid really dries everything up!!! (not to mention gives me more acne).
So there's my complaining for the day. Just wishing IF would go away :(
I wish it would go away for all of us IF girls. Gosh...we've been officially trying for six years. I'm glad the pain of IF has subsided quite a bit but after my recent lap surg...we've been given some hope once again(probably the most we've ever had). I think it's a dance...we give up and stop dancing...go to a new dr and dance again. haaa!!! Maybe the Lord doesn't want us to stop dancing and that's why we keep getting glimers of hope. Only God knows. Blessings to you.
ReplyDeleteI am so jealous. I saw your picture on All You Who Hope's site... you guys are so blessed to be together in the same area :) I wish I had someone to visit with over dinner. My closest friend here is due with her 4th at the end of June. Happy for her... just wish I could relate.
ReplyDeleteOur 4 year anniversary is in two weeks. With all my travel for work we may have missed some good days this month, but I did get back in time for P. I am only taking natural progesterone this month...since we didn’t use all the days possible. I feel like I am right there on the edge of a bad dream. Since I have seen dr. Hilgers for 1 year now (1st surgery was May 16th last year) I am starting to get nervous....but I am holding on. Sending you good wishes... and good dreams :)
I so can sympathize with you. We will be married 6 yrs next week and I cant believe we dont have kids, isnt this baby stuff supposed to be easy?! We just turned in our papers for adoption so we arent far behind.
ReplyDeleteIt's a nightmare! :)
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