I just thought I would write a quick post today. I am sure no one reads this blog any more since I never update so this would be a good place to complain :) (If you're dealing with IF please don't read this or you'll hate me, I would hate myself if it were me)
Anyways, I took a quiz last night that wanted to know my pre-pregnancy weight and then what weight I am at so far and what week. The results it said that I am gaining to much weight and started off over weight. I am embarrassed and feel like I can't do anything about it at this point. I LOVE being pregnant and I am so grateful for this blessing!!! BUT I am also very vain and want to be thin as well. Thin and pregnant would be great...oh how sad I am writing this! It only goes to show how week I am! I should just be happy to be pregnant and not care about how large I get. But I do and that's the ugly truth :(
This post put me over the edge! styleberry.blog
My Family
Monday, December 12, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Back again...
I don't even know where to begin with my update since it has been a couple of months. I am now 18 weeks pregnant! Woo-hoo. This pregnancy is VERY different than my previous one. I feel like I am so busy with Lucy that I for get I am pregnant half the time. I only had a little bit of nausea around 6-8 weeks. Got sick once at 16 weeks and that was it for morning sickness so I consider myself really blessed to have it so easy. My appetite has NOT been crazy like it was with L. At my last appointment a couple of weeks ago I hadn't gained any pregnancy weight yet which was exciting to hear since I still have pregnancy weight from before. Also, I am still on progesterone injections twice a week. The dose was just recently lowered to see if my levels would do fine at the amount (and save me money) but if they don't then I have to up the dose.
I know these are boring details but I am typing them mostly for my own memory of this pregnancy.
I am continuing to nurse L. even though I though I would have liked to have weaned her by now. I really don't know what to do to wean her since she is such a big fan of nursing. She cries and cries if I don't nurse her during her normal nursing times during the day. She is down to about 4-5 times in 24 hr.s. Right now and for about the past month it has been sooooo PAINFUL to have her latch on and nurse...at least for the first 5- 10 minutes then the pain dies down. But my breasts ache all day then by the evening I just cringe when she latches on because it hurts so badly. Maybe it is the change in hormones???? I am not sure. Any ideas?
What else is new? Oh, I have been watching a little boy now for the last month about 3-4 times a week and now 2 times a week. He is adorable. He is just a few weeks older than Lucy but he can walk and climb everything and he is definitely all boy! They get along really well. I think Lucy had some major adjusting issues in the beginning but now it doesn't seem to bother her as much. She is just extra clingy when he is around, which is fine with me.
Also, I am starting to work with a company called Singers Company. If you read this blog, barefootinthekitchen.blogspot.com then you may have seen this post awhile back. I was very interested when I saw and now as things have worked out I start my first class of girls this January. It is going to be a lot of fun and provide the extra income I have been looking for :) I just have a lot of work to do before hand...like get some extra energy, haha!
Well, I have to run...I will try to update more later :)
I know these are boring details but I am typing them mostly for my own memory of this pregnancy.
I am continuing to nurse L. even though I though I would have liked to have weaned her by now. I really don't know what to do to wean her since she is such a big fan of nursing. She cries and cries if I don't nurse her during her normal nursing times during the day. She is down to about 4-5 times in 24 hr.s. Right now and for about the past month it has been sooooo PAINFUL to have her latch on and nurse...at least for the first 5- 10 minutes then the pain dies down. But my breasts ache all day then by the evening I just cringe when she latches on because it hurts so badly. Maybe it is the change in hormones???? I am not sure. Any ideas?
What else is new? Oh, I have been watching a little boy now for the last month about 3-4 times a week and now 2 times a week. He is adorable. He is just a few weeks older than Lucy but he can walk and climb everything and he is definitely all boy! They get along really well. I think Lucy had some major adjusting issues in the beginning but now it doesn't seem to bother her as much. She is just extra clingy when he is around, which is fine with me.
Also, I am starting to work with a company called Singers Company. If you read this blog, barefootinthekitchen.blogspot.com then you may have seen this post awhile back. I was very interested when I saw and now as things have worked out I start my first class of girls this January. It is going to be a lot of fun and provide the extra income I have been looking for :) I just have a lot of work to do before hand...like get some extra energy, haha!
Well, I have to run...I will try to update more later :)
Friday, September 2, 2011
A little update, plus "day in my life"
I just thought I would update so I have a record of this pregnancy. My progesterone levels are at 17.something. Still low zone 2. PPVI asked me NOT to call them about results and that they will call me if there should be any changes with the progesterone injections. I only call them once every two weeks to find out how my levels are doing. Am I wrong to think I am paying BIG bucks for this and I am anxious about how things are going...SO why can't I call and find out my levels? The nurse really hurt my feelings by saying that. After all this is the first pregnancy I have had in 7 years that happened with out shots, pills, etc. so of course I am a bit anxious about things.
I LOVE reading a day in the life that some of the bloggers have been posting lately. So I thought I would give it a shot too.
7:30am. Dh puts Lucy in bed with me while I beg him to please call in late for work so he can watch her because I am to tired. He leaves for work anyways and Lucy and I go down stairs. Lucy plays with her toys while I lay down and watch/play with her.
8:00am make scrambled eggs for Lucy and I have a cup of yogurt. resume playing in the living room.
8:30am talk with my sister for a few minutes on the phone :)
9:00am make some sausage and eggs for Dh. (home on a break)
9:15am back to playing in the living room. (obviously we have slow mornings)
9:30am Try to nurse Lucy down for a nap...didn't work.
9:45am. My mom calls and we decide to meet for lunch.
9:50am still playing with Lucy in the living room.
10:30am Try nursing Lucy again for nap. Yeah, she is asleep.
10:45am Talk with my sister on the phone. She decides she is coming to book club at my house tonight.
11:00am Get showered and dressed. Jump in bed for a nap.
12:15pm Wake up, get Lucy dressed for the day. Feed her some turkey chili with cheese. make Dh a sandwich. Make a snack for myself.
1:00pm Walk next door to the school. Drop off Dh lunch and pick up cell phone from Dh.
1:15pm Pack up diaper bag (which Lucy unpacked and spread everywhere earlier this morning) leave for lunch date with mom.
1:40pm. Pick up mom from dad's office drive around looking for place to eat lunch. Finally decide on stopping at W.hole Foods. My dad ends up joining us for lunch. Lucy snacks on fruit, water, and chocolate chip cookie samples.
2:30pm. Go to eye doctors place to help pick out glasses for my dad. I was no help there with a baby so Lucy and I drive home.
3:15pm stop by compounding pharmacy to pick up progesterone.
4:00pm Finally made it home with Lucy who is very fussy. I had her skip her nap so she would go to sleep early since I am hosting book club at my house tonight. I change her diaper and nurse her with a video popped in the DVD player to keep her awake.
4:10pm Take Lucy to the school next door to play with the children in the after school program. Lucy crawls around everywhere and plays with the children while they try to watch a a movie.
4:55pm Go home. Start dinner for Lucy and myself. Leftover spaghetti. Take Lucy's dress off since spaghetti is sooo messy. Give Lucy Spaghetti and water for dinner.(we're out of milk). I eat my dinner with her. Save some dinner aside for Dh.
5:45pm. Pick up all toys off the floor. Vaccuum while holding Lucy since she is afraid of the vacuum. Sweep the floors while holding Lucy or else she chases the broom. Set up dinning room with desserts and drinks for tonight.
6:30pm Give Lucy a bath. Scrub toilet and sink while Lucy is soaking in the tub playing with her toys.
6:45pm. Get Lucy dressed for bed. Dh comes home from work and plays with Lucy while I run to the store. As I am leaving the store I see my brother at a restaurant across the street. I hurry up and jump in my car to try to follow him. he is a state trooper and on duty right now. I pull up beside him and yell "loser" (joking of course) and he follows me home (just a few blocks)with his police lights on to have me pull over. I don't pull over though because he is my brother and I know he is just teasing me. My brother stops by my house just two minutes before being called out to a car accident.
7:00 pm Put away groceries. My sister arrives after driving 2 hours for book club. So nice. Lucy is ready for a meltdown.
7:05pm. I take Lucy upstairs to bed and nurse her to sleep while singing her her night time song.
7:30pm Lucy's in bed for the night. I visit with my sister a few minutes before the ladies start arriving for book club.
10:00pm Lucy wakes up to nurse. I say a quick good-bye to my sister and the last girl remaining from book club and run up stairs to nurse Lucy.
10:15:pm Call my sister to see how her drive home is going.
10:30pm Get ready for bed and tell Dh funny stories that were shared during book club. Dh stays up to finish watching a foot ball game.
10:45pm Go to bed for the night.
Gees that was a lot of work to type out, haha! Hope you all don't find it to boring ;)
I LOVE reading a day in the life that some of the bloggers have been posting lately. So I thought I would give it a shot too.
7:30am. Dh puts Lucy in bed with me while I beg him to please call in late for work so he can watch her because I am to tired. He leaves for work anyways and Lucy and I go down stairs. Lucy plays with her toys while I lay down and watch/play with her.
8:00am make scrambled eggs for Lucy and I have a cup of yogurt. resume playing in the living room.
8:30am talk with my sister for a few minutes on the phone :)
9:00am make some sausage and eggs for Dh. (home on a break)
9:15am back to playing in the living room. (obviously we have slow mornings)
9:30am Try to nurse Lucy down for a nap...didn't work.
9:45am. My mom calls and we decide to meet for lunch.
9:50am still playing with Lucy in the living room.
10:30am Try nursing Lucy again for nap. Yeah, she is asleep.
10:45am Talk with my sister on the phone. She decides she is coming to book club at my house tonight.
11:00am Get showered and dressed. Jump in bed for a nap.
12:15pm Wake up, get Lucy dressed for the day. Feed her some turkey chili with cheese. make Dh a sandwich. Make a snack for myself.
1:00pm Walk next door to the school. Drop off Dh lunch and pick up cell phone from Dh.
1:15pm Pack up diaper bag (which Lucy unpacked and spread everywhere earlier this morning) leave for lunch date with mom.
1:40pm. Pick up mom from dad's office drive around looking for place to eat lunch. Finally decide on stopping at W.hole Foods. My dad ends up joining us for lunch. Lucy snacks on fruit, water, and chocolate chip cookie samples.
2:30pm. Go to eye doctors place to help pick out glasses for my dad. I was no help there with a baby so Lucy and I drive home.
3:15pm stop by compounding pharmacy to pick up progesterone.
4:00pm Finally made it home with Lucy who is very fussy. I had her skip her nap so she would go to sleep early since I am hosting book club at my house tonight. I change her diaper and nurse her with a video popped in the DVD player to keep her awake.
4:10pm Take Lucy to the school next door to play with the children in the after school program. Lucy crawls around everywhere and plays with the children while they try to watch a a movie.
4:55pm Go home. Start dinner for Lucy and myself. Leftover spaghetti. Take Lucy's dress off since spaghetti is sooo messy. Give Lucy Spaghetti and water for dinner.(we're out of milk). I eat my dinner with her. Save some dinner aside for Dh.
5:45pm. Pick up all toys off the floor. Vaccuum while holding Lucy since she is afraid of the vacuum. Sweep the floors while holding Lucy or else she chases the broom. Set up dinning room with desserts and drinks for tonight.
6:30pm Give Lucy a bath. Scrub toilet and sink while Lucy is soaking in the tub playing with her toys.
6:45pm. Get Lucy dressed for bed. Dh comes home from work and plays with Lucy while I run to the store. As I am leaving the store I see my brother at a restaurant across the street. I hurry up and jump in my car to try to follow him. he is a state trooper and on duty right now. I pull up beside him and yell "loser" (joking of course) and he follows me home (just a few blocks)with his police lights on to have me pull over. I don't pull over though because he is my brother and I know he is just teasing me. My brother stops by my house just two minutes before being called out to a car accident.
7:00 pm Put away groceries. My sister arrives after driving 2 hours for book club. So nice. Lucy is ready for a meltdown.
7:05pm. I take Lucy upstairs to bed and nurse her to sleep while singing her her night time song.
7:30pm Lucy's in bed for the night. I visit with my sister a few minutes before the ladies start arriving for book club.
10:00pm Lucy wakes up to nurse. I say a quick good-bye to my sister and the last girl remaining from book club and run up stairs to nurse Lucy.
10:15:pm Call my sister to see how her drive home is going.
10:30pm Get ready for bed and tell Dh funny stories that were shared during book club. Dh stays up to finish watching a foot ball game.
10:45pm Go to bed for the night.
Gees that was a lot of work to type out, haha! Hope you all don't find it to boring ;)
Thursday, August 25, 2011
A Healthy Heartbeat!
Thank you God! We heard a healthy heartbeat today! I am on cloud nine and just can't believe this is really happening! Lucy and Dh were there for the big event ;) Our baby's heartbeat was beating at 180 beats per minute, fast! I had a feeling the baby would be measuring a bit small because I ovulated late and I was right but the doctor said it wasn't enough to change my due date. He said I am due on March 30th but I am going with PPVI's due date for me of April 2. It really seems more exact. Not if it matters. I mean the baby can come early or late. Only God knows the plan.
Nausea has really set in lately and I am not getting much done on some days. It is crazy how I feel sick and don't want to eat but if I don't eat I feel worse. I am really going to try to eat healthier and start walking/exercising more. I have also been sleeping tons (well at least when Lucy is napping).I really can't afford to gain another 65 pounds this pregnancy if I still have about 35 pounds remaining from the last pregnancy. I found this great exercise video free on tv that is super low impact and I think perfect for pregnancy :)
My progesterone was 13.1 at the last draw so I am hoping this Tuesday to see it go up. It is still Zone 2 but low Zone 2. The nurse said it was normal for it to fluctuate so no worries for now. I know there are a lot of boring details in this post but it is mostly for my own notes :)
I really am nervous having Dh start the school year again and not have his help in the mornings with Lucy while I sleep. I am so not a morning person and especially now with morning sickness kicking in...I hope Lucy doesn't mind but lately in the mornings I grab a blanket and her boppy pillow and lay in the floor holding up toys for her while she plays. She generally takes off now do laps around the first floor while I call her back to me (she doesn't listen though). It is so hard to function that early in the morning!!!!
I can't think of anything else new that is going on...pretty quiet here :)Oh I decided to announce my pregnancy on F.acebook now before someone slips and spills the surprise...kind of nice to have it out in the open now :)
Nausea has really set in lately and I am not getting much done on some days. It is crazy how I feel sick and don't want to eat but if I don't eat I feel worse. I am really going to try to eat healthier and start walking/exercising more. I have also been sleeping tons (well at least when Lucy is napping).I really can't afford to gain another 65 pounds this pregnancy if I still have about 35 pounds remaining from the last pregnancy. I found this great exercise video free on tv that is super low impact and I think perfect for pregnancy :)
My progesterone was 13.1 at the last draw so I am hoping this Tuesday to see it go up. It is still Zone 2 but low Zone 2. The nurse said it was normal for it to fluctuate so no worries for now. I know there are a lot of boring details in this post but it is mostly for my own notes :)
I really am nervous having Dh start the school year again and not have his help in the mornings with Lucy while I sleep. I am so not a morning person and especially now with morning sickness kicking in...I hope Lucy doesn't mind but lately in the mornings I grab a blanket and her boppy pillow and lay in the floor holding up toys for her while she plays. She generally takes off now do laps around the first floor while I call her back to me (she doesn't listen though). It is so hard to function that early in the morning!!!!
I can't think of anything else new that is going on...pretty quiet here :)Oh I decided to announce my pregnancy on F.acebook now before someone slips and spills the surprise...kind of nice to have it out in the open now :)
Monday, August 22, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Happy 1st Birthday Lucy!
YEAH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my baby girl! I can't believe you're already one year old. This has been one of the happiest years of my life. Thank you sweet baby for being so wonderful! We are truly blessed. Today you spent the day crawling circles around the house and dragging all your toys out of the baskets. Tomorrow will be a big family birthday party for you. I got to be the first one to wish you happy birthday. I whispered it in your ear last night while I nursed you back to sleep. That memory I will treasure forever. Mommy and Daddy love you so much Lucy Marie.
P.s. Slide show to come tomorrow :)
P.s. Slide show to come tomorrow :)
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Big disappointment!
Today's ultrA-sound was a bust! Meaning I didn't get to have one done :( I almost started crying right then and there.The whole appointment didn't have a good feel to it. I didn't click with the doctor (the midwives were booked and couldn't see me). i said to Dh "I certainly do NOT want that doctor at my delivery!" Anyways, the reason there wasn't an ultra-sound done is because you have to have an appointment first to confirm a pregnancy then they will call you and then you finally get to schedule your ultra-sound. So now I have to wait until next Thursday for the ultra-sound. I can't wait to see this wee one on screen :) I had my hcg drawn yesterday with my progesterone level. I still don't know what my progesterone is but my hcg came back at 33,838. YEAH! That sounds great to me!!! So now I am just counting the days until the next appointment. Lucy's birthday is on Friday and I am soooo excited for her! Ah, my baby girl is getting so big. I love that she sits at the bottom of our stairs in the morning while Dh is watching her and yells "maaaaa-maaaaa' super loud until I come down stairs. So precious!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Blogger silence...advice please
O.k. I know there is a lot of blogger silence out there lately, or so it seems. But if anyone has some thoughts about this post that would be great.
Now, do pregnancy symptoms differ from each pregnancy? I feel different this time than I did with Lucy. Everyone says "don't worry". Well, I am the worrying type. I am anxious person naturally so of course I worry as well. I just upped my ultrasound appointment to a week earlier because I just can;t handle the wait any longer. I am going in on this Wednesday. Any prayers spared would be very much appreciated. I was just bawling this morning about things and all of the "what ifs" because I just don't feel the same as I did when pregnant before.
I am trying to distract myself until the appointment but it is kind of hard thing to do. Anyone else feel different with their following pregnancies.
Now, do pregnancy symptoms differ from each pregnancy? I feel different this time than I did with Lucy. Everyone says "don't worry". Well, I am the worrying type. I am anxious person naturally so of course I worry as well. I just upped my ultrasound appointment to a week earlier because I just can;t handle the wait any longer. I am going in on this Wednesday. Any prayers spared would be very much appreciated. I was just bawling this morning about things and all of the "what ifs" because I just don't feel the same as I did when pregnant before.
I am trying to distract myself until the appointment but it is kind of hard thing to do. Anyone else feel different with their following pregnancies.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Lovely last few days...
Dh took Lucy and me on a LOVELY picnic on Friday. We ordered sandwiches at one of my favorite places (because I am to lazy to make them right now) and went to Maymont. I just love it there. We sat down by a creek and relaxed on a blanket. It was kind of hot but not to bad. Dh ended up putting Lucy in the creek in her diaper while I video taped them. It was so sweet to watch!!!It just melted my heart. Anyways, after that I got to go to a "girl" movie with my mom. That was fantastic. I have never been to movie theater like this one before. There were leather seats, wood floors, waiters,wonderful food and drinks, and it was fancy! I didn't want to leave, almost :) We watched the movie, The Help. Which was wonderful!!!! Great movie! We ordered chocolate cake and hummus with this yummie topping. Clearly I really enjoyed myself. i left there and bawling mess because I am just emotional and was thinking of Lucy in relation to one of the characters at the end and started crying, haha!
So I tracked down in my last posts about my pregnancy with Lucy that I didn't get morning sickness with her until my second trimester. This makes me feel much better! I wish I could just relax but honestly after dealing with infertility and miscarrying I have a difficult time trusting my body. I know I have said that before. But it's a fact. Infertility just SUCKS with the scars it leaves on women. Maybe I am just being sensitive about this but it is true. Anyways, i am not going to go on a tangent about this...
Dh just showed up with frozen yogurt so I have to run, yum!
So I tracked down in my last posts about my pregnancy with Lucy that I didn't get morning sickness with her until my second trimester. This makes me feel much better! I wish I could just relax but honestly after dealing with infertility and miscarrying I have a difficult time trusting my body. I know I have said that before. But it's a fact. Infertility just SUCKS with the scars it leaves on women. Maybe I am just being sensitive about this but it is true. Anyways, i am not going to go on a tangent about this...
Dh just showed up with frozen yogurt so I have to run, yum!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Praying for morning sickness!
I know this sounds ridiculous but I really do wish I had morning sickness!!!! I didn't have it this early with Lucy either but it sure would make me feel more pregnant if I woke up sick or nauseous. I have been having a heck of time sleeping at night, insomnia, but during the day I am just so tired and have no energy to get things done.
On Friday I am going in for my progesterone lab draw and I think I am going to have them test my HCG #'s again. Maybe I shouldn't do that...I'll decide then :) But if I took my progesterone shot of 200mg on Tuesday late evening than can I get my blood drawn on Friday? Anybody know? I would call PPVI but I have decided lately since I have been so cranky that trying to talk to someone there is like trying to talk to the Wizard of Oz, seriously! This is driving me NUTS!!!
My ultrasound appointment has been moved to 8.5 weeks on August 25th. If only it would be here all ready. I am trying not to rush time and enjoy this last week and a half of Lucy before she is one. Can you believe she is going to be one? Just crazy! She certainly is acting like she is getting older. She is starting to feed herself with her fingers of course. She yells at me a lot when she wants something, and she is all over the house lately! Crawling everywhere. So precious! She watches everything and everyone so closely. She amazes me everyday!!!
On Friday I am going in for my progesterone lab draw and I think I am going to have them test my HCG #'s again. Maybe I shouldn't do that...I'll decide then :) But if I took my progesterone shot of 200mg on Tuesday late evening than can I get my blood drawn on Friday? Anybody know? I would call PPVI but I have decided lately since I have been so cranky that trying to talk to someone there is like trying to talk to the Wizard of Oz, seriously! This is driving me NUTS!!!
My ultrasound appointment has been moved to 8.5 weeks on August 25th. If only it would be here all ready. I am trying not to rush time and enjoy this last week and a half of Lucy before she is one. Can you believe she is going to be one? Just crazy! She certainly is acting like she is getting older. She is starting to feed herself with her fingers of course. She yells at me a lot when she wants something, and she is all over the house lately! Crawling everywhere. So precious! She watches everything and everyone so closely. She amazes me everyday!!!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Prayers for a fellow blogger!
Please pray for a blogger friend of mine whose little baby girl is in the hospital. Last I heard she went limp and her blood sugar is low. I know the blogger's prayers are very powerful when we all pray together so if any of you could please pray for her and her family today especially! Thank you!
On a side note: I got my progesterone results back. It is 17.7 which is middle of Zone 2. I need to stay on taking the shots. These results were taken the day after my hcg was 47. Anyways, my crp protein (or something like that) came back elevated which the nurse said could be a sign of inflammation or infection. I am on an antibiotic now which should help. I guess this could be cause for pre-term labor. Does anyone know anything about this? I am trying not to worry. As the nurse said, don't worry. Just get plenty of rest and drink fluids. The only symptom I really have at this point is being really tired in the evening...
On a side note: I got my progesterone results back. It is 17.7 which is middle of Zone 2. I need to stay on taking the shots. These results were taken the day after my hcg was 47. Anyways, my crp protein (or something like that) came back elevated which the nurse said could be a sign of inflammation or infection. I am on an antibiotic now which should help. I guess this could be cause for pre-term labor. Does anyone know anything about this? I am trying not to worry. As the nurse said, don't worry. Just get plenty of rest and drink fluids. The only symptom I really have at this point is being really tired in the evening...
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Exhausted!
What a long week so far! I took Lucy to the doctors today and she has her first ear infection. This explains why she wouldn't nurse for the last almost 24 hours. I feel so bad. She is exhausted but won't sleep at night, hungry but wont eat or nurse, and plain old just doesn't feel well. She has been laying in my arms during the day moaning. It just breaks my heart to see her not feeling well!!!
Luckily she is now on an antibiotic and hopefully that will start working soon. As for myself i have been a huge bear! So cranky exhausted, EXHAUSTED. Just trying to survive. I don't do well without sleep and now that I am engorged and having to keep pumping I am super irritable. I just want sleep. So I am heading to bed now at 9:00pm. just so maybe I might get a couple hours of sleep uninterrupted. i feel like such a BIG baby right now. My husband is having to put up with my crankiness. He really deserves an award for bravery and patience if there is one :) Off to bed now... I have a date with my pillow.
I don't think I mentioned that Lucy weighs 25 pounds now, I am so proud of her :)
Luckily she is now on an antibiotic and hopefully that will start working soon. As for myself i have been a huge bear! So cranky exhausted, EXHAUSTED. Just trying to survive. I don't do well without sleep and now that I am engorged and having to keep pumping I am super irritable. I just want sleep. So I am heading to bed now at 9:00pm. just so maybe I might get a couple hours of sleep uninterrupted. i feel like such a BIG baby right now. My husband is having to put up with my crankiness. He really deserves an award for bravery and patience if there is one :) Off to bed now... I have a date with my pillow.
I don't think I mentioned that Lucy weighs 25 pounds now, I am so proud of her :)
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
A bit of an update :)
So. I over nighted my progesterone Sat. morning so that I could get the results yesterday. The lab at PPVI still didn't have my blood work today so it has been officially lost in the mail. UGH! So frustrating. I went this afternoon to get my progesterone re-drawn and thought I might as well get my HCG levels checked out again. I am 5 weeks 1 day and my HCG is 1675. YEH! I am relieved. Grow baby grow!!!! Dr. H wants me to begin the antibiotic again that I took last pregnancy and I can continue with baby aspirin and nursing. Finally some answers to my questions. I feel like I can breath a little easier now that I got my HCG levels retested. When I miscarried they only ever made to 1200 at almost 7 weeks so I was worried.
Anyways, it has been very tiring here lately. Lucy had a fever yesterday afternoon and then woke up late yesterday evening and threw up everywhere. Poor baby. She cried and cried and was hot and achy all night. She was up a lot!!! Oh, it just breaks my heart to see her sick like that. She has continued to throw up today. So I have just been nursing her and not giving her any solids. I wish there was more I could do for her. You would think she would sleep more but no she wants to lay in my arms and watch Little Pim, priceless!!!
We are going up to my sister's house Friday for her hubby's birthday party. Can't wait! PARTY!!!!
Anyways, it has been very tiring here lately. Lucy had a fever yesterday afternoon and then woke up late yesterday evening and threw up everywhere. Poor baby. She cried and cried and was hot and achy all night. She was up a lot!!! Oh, it just breaks my heart to see her sick like that. She has continued to throw up today. So I have just been nursing her and not giving her any solids. I wish there was more I could do for her. You would think she would sleep more but no she wants to lay in my arms and watch Little Pim, priceless!!!
We are going up to my sister's house Friday for her hubby's birthday party. Can't wait! PARTY!!!!
Monday, August 1, 2011
So surreal...
I am now 5 weeks pregnant. Early huh? I woke up this morning at 4:30am to nurse Lucy and now I am wide awake thinking about this pregnancy. I know I shouldn't worry and just enjoy this time but I really can't help myself. I wish I could keep finding out every single day how things are going but I know that's not possible. I think I am going to get my HCG numbers re-drawn next week to see if they are still doubling. I feel like after miscarry and going through infertility I have a REALLY hard time trusting my body. Really the only pregnancy symptom I have had so far is just being tired in the evening. Very tired. I know I usually complain about being tired anyways but now I really feel much more tired if that were possible, haha! Dh also says I have been really irritable. Maybe I have :) Poor guy!
I have been debating about weaning Lucy while I am pregnant at the moment. I think I am going to start cutting her back to a couple nursings a day. Right now she still nurses about 6 times a day give or take. She really is a big nurser so I am not quite sure how to go about weaning her. Any advice??? I should find out my progesterone results today from PPVI. I am kind of anxious to hear how they are. I am on the progesterone shots but still I just can't help but worry how my levels are doing.
Right now being pregnant feels like a dream. Like it's not really "real" yet. Probably because it is so early. But I am already talking to this new baby growing inside me just like I did with Lucy. I feel so blessed right now. Thank you girls for your prayers. I really need them at the moment ;)
I have been debating about weaning Lucy while I am pregnant at the moment. I think I am going to start cutting her back to a couple nursings a day. Right now she still nurses about 6 times a day give or take. She really is a big nurser so I am not quite sure how to go about weaning her. Any advice??? I should find out my progesterone results today from PPVI. I am kind of anxious to hear how they are. I am on the progesterone shots but still I just can't help but worry how my levels are doing.
Right now being pregnant feels like a dream. Like it's not really "real" yet. Probably because it is so early. But I am already talking to this new baby growing inside me just like I did with Lucy. I feel so blessed right now. Thank you girls for your prayers. I really need them at the moment ;)
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's official I am PREGNANT again! I can't believe it!!!!! Dh and I are on cloud 9 if not higher :) After a scare at the beginning of the week we got the next set of results back today and PPVI said "You are pregnant, CONGRATULATIONS!".
OH MY GOODNESS! I still can't believe it. It is super early yet so of course I am nervous, scarred, worried, but so joyful and full of hope that this little baby will stick. I am starting progesterone treatments again 2 shots 2x a week.
On Sunday I took at test just for fun...it was soooo faint. On Monday I took a few more tests and they were + and faint lines as well. I got my blood drawn and PPVI said the levels were low enough that they thought it was just a chemical pregnancy. I told them I know I ovulated REALLY late. But they really sounded doubtful about everything and said God works in mysterious ways and to go get my numbers retested in 48 hours. I was thinking yes he does so if you're not going to give me progesterone I am going to get it myself. I went to my bedroom drawer where all my old medicines are stashed and took 100mg oral progesterone. Then I proceeded to mope on the couch the last two days waiting for AF to start. Then today I went and got my blood drawn again to see the HCG results and they practically quadrupled! I am ecstatic! Over the moon HAPPY! Please say a prayer for us that this pregnancy will be a healthy one. I am due April 2nd!!!! By the way for those of you who know me in real life we are keeping this a SECRET from all friends for the next couple of months so please don't tell a soul:)
OH MY GOODNESS! I still can't believe it. It is super early yet so of course I am nervous, scarred, worried, but so joyful and full of hope that this little baby will stick. I am starting progesterone treatments again 2 shots 2x a week.
On Sunday I took at test just for fun...it was soooo faint. On Monday I took a few more tests and they were + and faint lines as well. I got my blood drawn and PPVI said the levels were low enough that they thought it was just a chemical pregnancy. I told them I know I ovulated REALLY late. But they really sounded doubtful about everything and said God works in mysterious ways and to go get my numbers retested in 48 hours. I was thinking yes he does so if you're not going to give me progesterone I am going to get it myself. I went to my bedroom drawer where all my old medicines are stashed and took 100mg oral progesterone. Then I proceeded to mope on the couch the last two days waiting for AF to start. Then today I went and got my blood drawn again to see the HCG results and they practically quadrupled! I am ecstatic! Over the moon HAPPY! Please say a prayer for us that this pregnancy will be a healthy one. I am due April 2nd!!!! By the way for those of you who know me in real life we are keeping this a SECRET from all friends for the next couple of months so please don't tell a soul:)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Sleep Question?
Lucy is 11 months. She still wakes up 1-2 times at night and a couple times during the week 3 times a night. Is this normal. I feel so tired right now dealing with this. Not to mention I have major PMS right now that makes me feel crazy!!! Now that she can sit up on her own she wakes up during the night and tries to sit up right away. This is not a good thing because then it just takes her longer to go back to sleep. I am thinking maybe if her room were cooler she would sleep better. Her monitor in her bedroom says 85 degrees when she goes to sleep. Our upstairs where the bedrooms are located gets crazy hot and the window unit in her room just can't keep it very cool. I noticed she doesn't wake up as often when it is about 75 degrees in her room. Any ideas of how to cool down her room? I keep the black out curtains drawn closed all day and a fan blowing on her, plus the window unit set at its coolest...what else can I do?
I think I am just cranky, PMSy, tired, and I know she would be happier too if she woke up less often. Oh, I forgot to mention that every time she wakes up she wants to nurse back to sleep. When we were on vacation she slept next to me and I would wake up as soon as I heard her start to rouse herself and I would pat her back to sleep. That seemed to do the trick but even then I am still having to wake up. I feel so selfish just wanting to sleep more, I can't escape the mommy guilt!
I think I am just cranky, PMSy, tired, and I know she would be happier too if she woke up less often. Oh, I forgot to mention that every time she wakes up she wants to nurse back to sleep. When we were on vacation she slept next to me and I would wake up as soon as I heard her start to rouse herself and I would pat her back to sleep. That seemed to do the trick but even then I am still having to wake up. I feel so selfish just wanting to sleep more, I can't escape the mommy guilt!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Finally home and experience?
Does anyone have any experience with babies adjusting after vacations? We are finally home now. Our trip home took us from Tuesday afternoon to Thursday afternoon. We ended up stopping at my brother and SIL's house for a detour on our trip home since Lucy was crazy cranky! Poor baby girl was so tired of the drive. Lesson learned: start on a road trip early in the morning! What were we thinking? Clearly we weren't thinking, haha! After staying the night with my brother we then stayed the falling night at my parents home in Richmond since my sister was in town, boy I miss her living here. Anyways, now we are finally home :) Lucy isn't sleeping well here though. No nap and now she has already woken up every hour she has been asleep tonight...hmmm, adjusting? Any experience with this? Any advice? I am guessing after being gone for three weeks it will take here a few days to adjust to being home. I plan on keeping her home and keeping things low key for a few days so she can adjust that we are home :) Ah! So nice to be back!
As for pictures...there coming...I do promise...I just have to unpack first...my house is upside down at the moment :)
As for pictures...there coming...I do promise...I just have to unpack first...my house is upside down at the moment :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
Heading home :)
We're heading home tomorrow morning :) We have been in NY now for 17 days! I think after reading my last post I was deleriously tired. But now that Lucy's cold is gone and she has been sleeper better, not great, but still better I feel much better. It will be so nice to sleep in my own bed again!!! I love that feeling of returning home after vacation to you're own bed. We have never been away from home this long but with the way my Dh's job worked out this summer it made things possible for us to be more flexible with our traveling plans.
Lucy has changed so much in the last couple of weeks. First of all her nursin gincreased significantly which I loved of course. Secondly, she started crawling! Well, she is not super fast yet but she is sure determined :) Also, she can sit up now on her own and she is new words like "s-that" (what's that) and she points to the object she is asking about, or she says, Jesus and Mama and Dada on cue. So precious!!! She will be 11 months old tomorrow. I can't believe it! I want her to stay a little baby in my arms but it is so nice to see her personality developing :) She loves parties, people, and especially children/ babies right now. She gets so excited around her cousins.
I'll have to post pictures when we get home tomorrow. Please say a prayer for us that we have a safe drive home tomorrow :) thanks.
P.s. I had mentioned that my ovulation test last month was +. I was wrong it was -. I just didn't read the directions correctly, haha. I am on CD 24 this month, P+3 maybe but I gave up charting this cycle...just not that into it this cycle.
Lucy has changed so much in the last couple of weeks. First of all her nursin gincreased significantly which I loved of course. Secondly, she started crawling! Well, she is not super fast yet but she is sure determined :) Also, she can sit up now on her own and she is new words like "s-that" (what's that) and she points to the object she is asking about, or she says, Jesus and Mama and Dada on cue. So precious!!! She will be 11 months old tomorrow. I can't believe it! I want her to stay a little baby in my arms but it is so nice to see her personality developing :) She loves parties, people, and especially children/ babies right now. She gets so excited around her cousins.
I'll have to post pictures when we get home tomorrow. Please say a prayer for us that we have a safe drive home tomorrow :) thanks.
P.s. I had mentioned that my ovulation test last month was +. I was wrong it was -. I just didn't read the directions correctly, haha. I am on CD 24 this month, P+3 maybe but I gave up charting this cycle...just not that into it this cycle.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Vacation
We're on vacation up in Syracuse NY visiting with my husbands side of the family. We have been here 11 days (who's counting) and dh says he is not sure when were going back...maybe in a week or longer. I really don't mind being up here but Lucy has been sleeping horribly and I feel like a cranky walking zombie most of the time. I am able to take naps so I am not sure why I am so freaking tired I feel like most of the time. I am not sure if it has to do with the fact the my diet up here has been crapy. I am bound to return home 15 pounds heavier!!!! We eat a lot of junk up here but we really have no choice. I kind of have to eat what is served, right? Anyways, I feel very sluggish and frustrated with myself because I wish I just had that get up and go that I am seriously lacking!!! I have a tired headache most of the day and feel like I am in a fog for a few hours every eafternoon. Is that dramatic enough :)I can't emphasis this enough. Lucy is sick with a cold at the moment (again) but I think it has to do with playing with her cousins who have been sick. She just loves playing with the other children up here. She is one of 54 grandchildren so needless to say there are plenty of babies for her to play with here. Too cute!!!
Anyways, I am on CD 17 today. I haven't really been charting to well this cycle partly because Lucy has increased her nursing while up here on vacation so I am sure that would throw off my cycle so now I am taking a break from TTC this month. That means no blood draw. By the way, last cycle I did take a ovulation prediction test and it was positive so I am still puzzled why my levels were so low. Maybe in a couple of cycles it will straighten out.
This seems like a boring post to me so I am going to wrap it up :)
Anyways, I am on CD 17 today. I haven't really been charting to well this cycle partly because Lucy has increased her nursing while up here on vacation so I am sure that would throw off my cycle so now I am taking a break from TTC this month. That means no blood draw. By the way, last cycle I did take a ovulation prediction test and it was positive so I am still puzzled why my levels were so low. Maybe in a couple of cycles it will straighten out.
This seems like a boring post to me so I am going to wrap it up :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
P+8 results! + pic.s
I got my P+8 results today and I am really bummed to say the least. I am blogging about this because not many people around me understand the results as my blogger friends do (except for my sister who I swear knows more about Creighton Charting than I do now). O.k. so my progesterone was 1.8 and my Estrodial was 2.0. WTH? Right! I had two peaks this cycle and the real peak day was on CD22. I had cramping on that day and abdominal bloating like I used to with ovulating. I then got my blood drawn on P+8 because I forgot to on P+7...I started my period though the very next day! Needless to say I am so frustrated by that but I thought oh well. I am sure PPVI will give me something to get started on for TTC. I thought wrong! After $145 they said not to do anything this cycle since they don't know what to make of my results and we'll have to wait and see what next P+7 results are.
I guess I am just annoyed that I spent all that money when we didn't have extra just to hear that I have wait until next time. I am also disappointed because I wanted to start this month!!!!
I should probably get used to paying for treatment now...I calculated that if I start up on everything I was on to get pregnant with Lucy then that would be about $500 a month. If I skip a few of the things I was taking/doing then that would be $400 a month. I have been thinking of ways to help pay this and girls the wheels are turning!
Maybe I will get pregnant on my own and not need any treatment but with these results I am already skeptical. This was my third cycle after pregnancy so maybe it's just taking a bit for it to straighten out.
Lucy is getting so big!!! She is a little over ten months now and I want to gobble up her cuteness. I am such a proud mama!!!! We had such a great 7 year anniversary with our little baby by our side. I kept thinking during our anniversary dinner "all these anniversaries and we finally have our baby girl sitting with us, A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!
I guess I am just annoyed that I spent all that money when we didn't have extra just to hear that I have wait until next time. I am also disappointed because I wanted to start this month!!!!
I should probably get used to paying for treatment now...I calculated that if I start up on everything I was on to get pregnant with Lucy then that would be about $500 a month. If I skip a few of the things I was taking/doing then that would be $400 a month. I have been thinking of ways to help pay this and girls the wheels are turning!
Maybe I will get pregnant on my own and not need any treatment but with these results I am already skeptical. This was my third cycle after pregnancy so maybe it's just taking a bit for it to straighten out.
Lucy is getting so big!!! She is a little over ten months now and I want to gobble up her cuteness. I am such a proud mama!!!! We had such a great 7 year anniversary with our little baby by our side. I kept thinking during our anniversary dinner "all these anniversaries and we finally have our baby girl sitting with us, A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Quick update! Happy nine months Lucy :)
My sister's wedding is in a couple days! This Saturday her life will be forever shared with her Fiance, Greg. Amazing how marriage makes a couple one. Such a blessing. Things have been cray here with trying to do errands and last minute things to help out my sister. I can't believe how much having a baby slows me down!!!!!!!! It takes me forever to get errands or cleaning done. My in-laws are invited to the wedding as well so I am trying to get my house de-cluttered and organized or at leased a basic cleaning done before they arrive. I just need someone to come and sit and entertain Lucy and watch her for me so I can frantically clean my house. It's funny how cleaning gets neglected because when she is awake I want to play wither, do errands, change her diaper, feed her, change her diaper again, feed her again, etc. Then when she sleeps no cleaning anywhere where she can hear me moving around. Um that is most of the house so I am just frozen to sit and read a book, haha! That's my excuse anyways!
On a side note, I didn't manage to lose all the baby weight for my sister's wedding. I am trying to NOT think about it at ALL! (not really working) I am grateful to have a baby and if weight is the price I have to pay for her then oh well. I'll have after the wedding to keep working on it.
I can't believe again that my sister is getting married!!!! Selfishly I don't want her to get married and have to share her with another person. It's nice having her time all to my self. I don't want her to move away! She'll only be a couple of hours away but she is my best friend! I know this sounds really selfish and it is. Don't get me wrong. I really am happy for her and Greg. They are perfect for each other and I just know she is going to be very happy!
O.k. I am off to frantically clean up my house while Lucy is sleeping.
Oh, how can I almost forget. Lucy is 9 MONTHS today! Oh my sweet baby girl is developing such a strong personalty. I love getting to know the big baby she is becoming...she is getting in her 3rd and 4th teeth, scooting all over the place, clapping her hands, waving good bye, eating at least one a day of baby food, she can kind of say "da-da" and "ma-ma"! I LOVE hearing her voice! She is so precious to me.
CD update: I am on P+15. I am not pregnant though. I think my cycle is just not normal because I am breastfeeding. I took a dollar store pregnancy test a couple of days ago and I it was a BFN. So, I am looking forward to next cycle. I feel crampy and my nipples really ache to nurse right now, the same as last month before AF arrived.
Well, I am off for a crazy busy next couple of days!
On a side note, I didn't manage to lose all the baby weight for my sister's wedding. I am trying to NOT think about it at ALL! (not really working) I am grateful to have a baby and if weight is the price I have to pay for her then oh well. I'll have after the wedding to keep working on it.
I can't believe again that my sister is getting married!!!! Selfishly I don't want her to get married and have to share her with another person. It's nice having her time all to my self. I don't want her to move away! She'll only be a couple of hours away but she is my best friend! I know this sounds really selfish and it is. Don't get me wrong. I really am happy for her and Greg. They are perfect for each other and I just know she is going to be very happy!
O.k. I am off to frantically clean up my house while Lucy is sleeping.
Oh, how can I almost forget. Lucy is 9 MONTHS today! Oh my sweet baby girl is developing such a strong personalty. I love getting to know the big baby she is becoming...she is getting in her 3rd and 4th teeth, scooting all over the place, clapping her hands, waving good bye, eating at least one a day of baby food, she can kind of say "da-da" and "ma-ma"! I LOVE hearing her voice! She is so precious to me.
CD update: I am on P+15. I am not pregnant though. I think my cycle is just not normal because I am breastfeeding. I took a dollar store pregnancy test a couple of days ago and I it was a BFN. So, I am looking forward to next cycle. I feel crampy and my nipples really ache to nurse right now, the same as last month before AF arrived.
Well, I am off for a crazy busy next couple of days!
Monday, April 18, 2011
CD 1
First off, my picture header is messed up. I can't even think straight to fix it at the moment!!!
AF is here. I really don't know what to think...I have been wondering when Af would come back. The one thing I noticed compared to past cycles is that I don't have to pop any Advil. Usually i would take anywhere from 2-4 depending how bad the cramps were but this period is not nearly as painful. I was thinking maybe I should go back on the endo diet again just to keep the endo at bay as much as I can. I already went and bought groceries for it. Hum, honestly I am hoping to get pregnant right away. (I am not about spacing babies, haha!)I am not going to stress about TTC in the meantime, but if it happens I am going to be doing a happy dance. I would LOVE to have another baby!!!!!!! Yeah, to having my cycle back, Woo-hoo!
AF is here. I really don't know what to think...I have been wondering when Af would come back. The one thing I noticed compared to past cycles is that I don't have to pop any Advil. Usually i would take anywhere from 2-4 depending how bad the cramps were but this period is not nearly as painful. I was thinking maybe I should go back on the endo diet again just to keep the endo at bay as much as I can. I already went and bought groceries for it. Hum, honestly I am hoping to get pregnant right away. (I am not about spacing babies, haha!)I am not going to stress about TTC in the meantime, but if it happens I am going to be doing a happy dance. I would LOVE to have another baby!!!!!!! Yeah, to having my cycle back, Woo-hoo!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
7 Quick Takes
I have been reluctant to blog lately because I just don't know where to start. Do you ever feel like you have so much to say that it's hard to know what to say first? I have been feeling like that since motherhood started!
So I'll just do 7 quick takes I guess on a regular basis :)
1. Lucy had her "6 month" well baby appointment on Monday although she is really 7 1/2 months now. She is in the 90% for both height and weight. She is now 27 1/2 inches long and 21.8 pounds. It's amazing that breast milk can make a baby so chubby! I love her rolls!!! Lucy now has two bottom teeth (have I already mentioned that before?) She is wearing one of those amber teething necklaces to help with the pain. I am not sure if I notice a difference yet. She can sit up now without support although she does tip over occasionally. Lucy loves to talk. Baby talk that is. All day around the house she is talking/ singing to me. She'll copy different sounds I say. I could have sworn she said "dada" the other day! But she hasn't said it since. She is a GREAT sleeper! She takes two two hour naps a day and only wakes up once during the night to nurse. Granted we don't get much done out around town because I don't want her to fall asleep in the car. I love staying home though. We spend our afternoons baking, cooking dinner, cleaning, hanging out on the front porch people watching, bath time, pretty much relaxing, and waiting for daddy to come home. I LOVE IT! Oh, and Lucy had her first fever the other day. Oh my goodness it scared me. Of course I cried because I am a worried first time mom :) She is all better now but it was so sad to see her not be herself and just lay there and moan/ cry. Poor baby. I am so glad see her feel better again. Did I mention I panicked and called her Dr's office several times to see what I am suppose to do.
2. I am doing a Doula certification program. It is going to take me awhile to finish so for now I am doing the required readings and looking for births to attend :) It really is very interesting. My only problem is leaving Lucy to attend training or even a birth, haha! I am soooo attached to her! But I wish I didn't have any anxiety about leaving her in someone else care but I do and so for now I am taking my time with the training until I have more peace of mind.
3. We FINALLY have a new used car, Woo-hoo. Believe it or not I kind of enjoyed not having a car. It really made life slower for us and Lucy and I did A LOT of walking around town. I am going to try to keep that part up, but we'll see how that goes. We didn't have a car for about 3 months which flew by. So happy to have one now!!!
4. My sister's wedding is coming up next month. I am so happy for her. It has been crazy lately trying to get the invitations in the mail. Oh my goodness talk about time consuming. But now they are done and my house can finally be cleaned up. I put everything on hold while doing the invitations...I still can't believe my twin sister is getting married. I can't wait for her to have this vocation in common with me. So amazing! Also, I can't wait to post pictures of her dress (after she is married of course). It is beautiful!!! I love it!
5. So I have been exercising trying to loose the baby weight but I swear that baby weight is glued onto me!!!!!!!. I am trying not to lose hope here but seriously it is hard to drop the pounds. I have lost 12 pounds in the last 3 months and that is just to slow for the wedding. I am trying not to stress out about it. Every time I think of Lucy I think it is worth it. I would gain it all again for another baby. I guess I just have to be patient. Maybe my sister will put her wedding on hold for me until I lose it all :) haha!
6. I have been introducing baby foods to Lucy. I love seeing her try new foods. I am not a fan of rice cereals, or packaged/ process foods for her so she has just been eating real food. So far she has just tried a few different kinds. She hasn't really taken an interest in real food yet so for now she is still a really big nurser.
7. I am on a kick of trying to have an ordered life. One with routine, schedules, organization. I am REALLY far from being where I would like to be but one can hope, right? I am reading this book (amongst many I have started and haven't finished) called Steady Days; A Journey towards intentional Professional Motherhood by Jamie Martin. It has a really interesting approach. I heard of the book from the styleberyblog She always has great ideas.
This took me longer than I thought it would :) I miss you girls!
So I'll just do 7 quick takes I guess on a regular basis :)
1. Lucy had her "6 month" well baby appointment on Monday although she is really 7 1/2 months now. She is in the 90% for both height and weight. She is now 27 1/2 inches long and 21.8 pounds. It's amazing that breast milk can make a baby so chubby! I love her rolls!!! Lucy now has two bottom teeth (have I already mentioned that before?) She is wearing one of those amber teething necklaces to help with the pain. I am not sure if I notice a difference yet. She can sit up now without support although she does tip over occasionally. Lucy loves to talk. Baby talk that is. All day around the house she is talking/ singing to me. She'll copy different sounds I say. I could have sworn she said "dada" the other day! But she hasn't said it since. She is a GREAT sleeper! She takes two two hour naps a day and only wakes up once during the night to nurse. Granted we don't get much done out around town because I don't want her to fall asleep in the car. I love staying home though. We spend our afternoons baking, cooking dinner, cleaning, hanging out on the front porch people watching, bath time, pretty much relaxing, and waiting for daddy to come home. I LOVE IT! Oh, and Lucy had her first fever the other day. Oh my goodness it scared me. Of course I cried because I am a worried first time mom :) She is all better now but it was so sad to see her not be herself and just lay there and moan/ cry. Poor baby. I am so glad see her feel better again. Did I mention I panicked and called her Dr's office several times to see what I am suppose to do.
2. I am doing a Doula certification program. It is going to take me awhile to finish so for now I am doing the required readings and looking for births to attend :) It really is very interesting. My only problem is leaving Lucy to attend training or even a birth, haha! I am soooo attached to her! But I wish I didn't have any anxiety about leaving her in someone else care but I do and so for now I am taking my time with the training until I have more peace of mind.
3. We FINALLY have a new used car, Woo-hoo. Believe it or not I kind of enjoyed not having a car. It really made life slower for us and Lucy and I did A LOT of walking around town. I am going to try to keep that part up, but we'll see how that goes. We didn't have a car for about 3 months which flew by. So happy to have one now!!!
4. My sister's wedding is coming up next month. I am so happy for her. It has been crazy lately trying to get the invitations in the mail. Oh my goodness talk about time consuming. But now they are done and my house can finally be cleaned up. I put everything on hold while doing the invitations...I still can't believe my twin sister is getting married. I can't wait for her to have this vocation in common with me. So amazing! Also, I can't wait to post pictures of her dress (after she is married of course). It is beautiful!!! I love it!
5. So I have been exercising trying to loose the baby weight but I swear that baby weight is glued onto me!!!!!!!. I am trying not to lose hope here but seriously it is hard to drop the pounds. I have lost 12 pounds in the last 3 months and that is just to slow for the wedding. I am trying not to stress out about it. Every time I think of Lucy I think it is worth it. I would gain it all again for another baby. I guess I just have to be patient. Maybe my sister will put her wedding on hold for me until I lose it all :) haha!
6. I have been introducing baby foods to Lucy. I love seeing her try new foods. I am not a fan of rice cereals, or packaged/ process foods for her so she has just been eating real food. So far she has just tried a few different kinds. She hasn't really taken an interest in real food yet so for now she is still a really big nurser.
7. I am on a kick of trying to have an ordered life. One with routine, schedules, organization. I am REALLY far from being where I would like to be but one can hope, right? I am reading this book (amongst many I have started and haven't finished) called Steady Days; A Journey towards intentional Professional Motherhood by Jamie Martin. It has a really interesting approach. I heard of the book from the styleberyblog She always has great ideas.
This took me longer than I thought it would :) I miss you girls!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Prayers please! (Update)
Please play for a friend of our family that delivered her baby at 24 weeks (6 months) and is in need of prayers. She was spotting and then her water broke. She delivered her baby by c-section. Poor girl. I can't imagine what she must be going through because her baby was flown to a NICU away from her :( The baby was baptized immediately. Please pray for them.
*******Updated********
Please pray for the family and the repose of the soul of their baby boy who died last night. He weighed under two pounds and fought a good fight. This just breaks my heart. I haven't heard if the mama got to spend time with her baby before he passed away. Oh, this just breaks my heart!
Prayers please! This is the second baby she has lost.
*******Updated********
Please pray for the family and the repose of the soul of their baby boy who died last night. He weighed under two pounds and fought a good fight. This just breaks my heart. I haven't heard if the mama got to spend time with her baby before he passed away. Oh, this just breaks my heart!
Prayers please! This is the second baby she has lost.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
The Emotions of a Mother
I read this beautiful post today from a blog named, MyChildILoveYou.blogspot.com The blogger has such a beautiful view on motherhood and I think she is very inspiring. Here is the post if you are interested: (Just to emphasize these are not my words but another blogger's post.)If you get a chance to take a peak at her blog I highly recommend it :)
The Emotions of a Mother
I have had so many conversations with women about certain emotional areas of motherhood. We can all agree that so many emotions go into the massive job of raising souls. Of course, we find laughter, contentment, frustrations, joy, growth, and love. I do believe there are many other emotions that women don't talk about much that are normal and part of our "job description." I believe these that are left "untalked about" lead many women to feel inadequate or that they aren't a good mother. I've mentioned so many times before the blessing I've been given of so many holy and experienced mothers. They have shared with many the normalcy of the wide variety of emotions.
Upon further reflection, I believe God lets us experience these emotions so we have yet another opportunity to share in His Calvary and grow deeper into union with him.
1. Loneliness: As my very content mother at home put it, "The loneliness of motherhood is deafening." We are at home with our little ones making life changing, life altering decisions EVERY day. We are the ones to decide what is best for them and pick for them the things that will affect their entire lives. We are the ones watching a child with a raging fever and trying to decide if we should call the doctor now or NOW. We are the ones with a little one pulling at our leg for attention and we are well aware we haven't given them much attention today, but dinner needs to be cooked, laundry needs to be folded, the bathrooms need to be scrubbed, the baby needs to be held, and we are trying to lose that extra 15lbs, so our thoughts are preoccupied with so many different thoughts. We are at home all day with no one above our knee cap to talk to and that lends itself to loneliness. We are directing traffic all day and yearn for a fellow officer to be with us to ease the heaviness of the job.
I recall an incident once when John was away camping with Dominic. At bedtime, I had let the girls talk for a while, but went back to the room to tell them it was time to be quiet. I said, "If I hear one more word, you will have to sleep in another room by yourself." Torture for someone who is use to having siblings to sleep with. So, long and behold, I walk down the hall and hear some chit-chatting. So, I turn right back around and calmly ask the offender to grab her pillow and blanket and escorted her into the other room. I tucked her in, told her I loved her, and said good night. She was devastated and afraid. I knew she was afraid, but I knew that if I didn't stick to my guns, the behavior would repeat and she would know that I didn't mean business. I remember crying that night. I hate those decisions. I didn't want to make her afraid, but I don't want a disrespectful child who doesn't listen to our requests. I remember feeling lonely that night especially since John was gone and not there to affirm or tell me that I was/wasn't doing the right thing by sticking with my decision. I believe Satan tempts mothers at home with thoughts of "Other women are content, why aren't you. Everyone else knows how to handle these situations, why can't you. All women at home are happy, why aren't you? No one has ever lost their patience like you."
2. A deep desire for friendship which is usually accompanied by the feeling of "not having any close friends."
Oh, how I could write forever on this issue. My wise mother again said, "Mothers need other mothers." No matter how close John and I are, I still yearn for friendship with other women and mothers to talk with, share with, bounce ideas with, cry with, figure life out with, go on girl walks with to talk about girl things with. I think most women are tempted with the feeling of "I don't have any close friends, you know like I did in high school." With children, life is sporadic and doesn't lend itself to the time needed to build close, womanly friendship. We are wearing so many different hats, trying to keep our own homes afloat and then to have the time to nurture a relationship usually isn't there, but the desire is there. I believe Satan tempts us with thoughts of "Everybody has friends, but you."
3. Comparison: This one is a real trap for mothers. There is nothing like being with other mothers and your little one just doesn't quite compare. I remember how well Dominic knew his saints and we attended a boy's club. The leader of the club asked the boys which was their favorite saint. I pridefully thought he would belt out some awesome saint and guess what he said. WINNIE THE POOH. Yes, you heard me. Winnie the Pooh. He knew well he wasn't a saint, so why did he say that?? That was awesome!
I recall another incident when the kids entered their first track meet. I was so excited to see them run and compete. Due to the fact that this was our first athletic event with the kids, I didn't expect much, but also knew they would do great because John and I are athletic peeps. Wrong again. ALL of our kids got DEAD last and some even cried while running. Wow. I was so taken aback by my reaction. All the way to the track meet, I am saying the usual "Do your best." Well, they had the time of their lives while running their little hearts out. I remember Dominic thinking he got first place (he really got last). He came up to me smiling and said, "Looks like we bought the right shoes, I won my race." gulp. What is wrong with me? Snap out of it. I am smiling at him, but my stomach wants to throw up. I was so embarrassed. I learned so much about myself that day. It was such a day of growth. Here I was thinking that all we want from them was their best. That is exactly what they gave us. I really had to do some soul searching on that one. Once again, I was Pridefully comparing. So, off to the confessional I went, and began again.
Mothers are CONSTANTLY comparing, sizing up, and gauging their child because really it is reflection upon how well WE are doing as their mother. There is no other gauge of our efforts than to see how they compare to others. What a terrible trap! It stifles so much joy and robs us of seeing the individuality of each child and helping them progress into whom God made them to be not who God made them to be like as in other kids their age. Comparison leads to discontentment and anxiousness. It makes my heart unsettled and needy. One of satan's titles is "The King of Immediacy." Meaning, we must fix it now, do something about it now because our child might be left behind.
4. Boredom:
The monotony of our work leads to boredom. We say the same things over and over, do the same things over and over, clean the same things over and over. I mention this only because I think women begin to feel bored and start looking for fulfillment outside of the home when in reality it is just part of the job description. The more we can be distracted from our homes, the more our home life will start to fall apart. The discipline of the monotony is so good for our souls. It is refining and purifying. God purifies us through motherhood. At times, I am very aware that I really am not a key factor in this relationship only God is using these circumstances of the every day to get my soul to heaven. When I separate the two, I am free. When I realize that it is God who is parenting them, not I, I am free. He is using me in this relationship to work out my bumps and bruises. Boredom is part of the job, but the answer to this emotion is not outside of the home. It is a shifting of the thoughts and passions realizing how good all the emotions are for our soul. We can go deeper into union with Him.
5. Just can't keep up/ Just don't add up
We are usually blessed for our own good and humility with a friend who seemingly "just has it together." The kind that every thing they do from their kids, their dogs, their grass, their soap dispensers, their meals, everything just goes well and has an extra little fairy glimmer to it. We, on the other hand, are so proud of ourselves for making our bed this morning, showering and even applying a layer of eyeshadow. Awesome. They usually arrive at our doorstep by 8:30 dressed, all their housework is completed and were just in the neighborhood "dropping off fresh cinnamon rolls" because, and they "can't stay long" because their yoga class starts in 30 minutes. Most days like this, I see God winking at me. Days like this also make me reflect upon who He made me to be and see my own gifts and not compare. Some things just are. I was tempted for a long time with the thought that if I just stayed up late enough to prepare for our homeschooling days everything would go smoothly. I would then be so hard on myself for wanting time to just be with John, or go to be early, or sleep in later than I should. My Aunt told me to stop that immediately. She told me that we can't forget our humanness. We are not robots and are not made to be robots. Don't fall into the temptations of pushing harder.
Once again, I cheer you on! Nothing is more consoling to know that what we are feeling is normal. After I realize what is normal, I then begin to move forward past the emotion. Isn't that all we are looking for? Here's to the reaching of our full potential as an individual mother designed by God to parent these specific children all in the realm of eternity! What freedom!
I read this quote today that said in perfectly for me:
"I wished to have many children so that I could raise them for Heaven." St. Zelie
The Emotions of a Mother
I have had so many conversations with women about certain emotional areas of motherhood. We can all agree that so many emotions go into the massive job of raising souls. Of course, we find laughter, contentment, frustrations, joy, growth, and love. I do believe there are many other emotions that women don't talk about much that are normal and part of our "job description." I believe these that are left "untalked about" lead many women to feel inadequate or that they aren't a good mother. I've mentioned so many times before the blessing I've been given of so many holy and experienced mothers. They have shared with many the normalcy of the wide variety of emotions.
Upon further reflection, I believe God lets us experience these emotions so we have yet another opportunity to share in His Calvary and grow deeper into union with him.
1. Loneliness: As my very content mother at home put it, "The loneliness of motherhood is deafening." We are at home with our little ones making life changing, life altering decisions EVERY day. We are the ones to decide what is best for them and pick for them the things that will affect their entire lives. We are the ones watching a child with a raging fever and trying to decide if we should call the doctor now or NOW. We are the ones with a little one pulling at our leg for attention and we are well aware we haven't given them much attention today, but dinner needs to be cooked, laundry needs to be folded, the bathrooms need to be scrubbed, the baby needs to be held, and we are trying to lose that extra 15lbs, so our thoughts are preoccupied with so many different thoughts. We are at home all day with no one above our knee cap to talk to and that lends itself to loneliness. We are directing traffic all day and yearn for a fellow officer to be with us to ease the heaviness of the job.
I recall an incident once when John was away camping with Dominic. At bedtime, I had let the girls talk for a while, but went back to the room to tell them it was time to be quiet. I said, "If I hear one more word, you will have to sleep in another room by yourself." Torture for someone who is use to having siblings to sleep with. So, long and behold, I walk down the hall and hear some chit-chatting. So, I turn right back around and calmly ask the offender to grab her pillow and blanket and escorted her into the other room. I tucked her in, told her I loved her, and said good night. She was devastated and afraid. I knew she was afraid, but I knew that if I didn't stick to my guns, the behavior would repeat and she would know that I didn't mean business. I remember crying that night. I hate those decisions. I didn't want to make her afraid, but I don't want a disrespectful child who doesn't listen to our requests. I remember feeling lonely that night especially since John was gone and not there to affirm or tell me that I was/wasn't doing the right thing by sticking with my decision. I believe Satan tempts mothers at home with thoughts of "Other women are content, why aren't you. Everyone else knows how to handle these situations, why can't you. All women at home are happy, why aren't you? No one has ever lost their patience like you."
2. A deep desire for friendship which is usually accompanied by the feeling of "not having any close friends."
Oh, how I could write forever on this issue. My wise mother again said, "Mothers need other mothers." No matter how close John and I are, I still yearn for friendship with other women and mothers to talk with, share with, bounce ideas with, cry with, figure life out with, go on girl walks with to talk about girl things with. I think most women are tempted with the feeling of "I don't have any close friends, you know like I did in high school." With children, life is sporadic and doesn't lend itself to the time needed to build close, womanly friendship. We are wearing so many different hats, trying to keep our own homes afloat and then to have the time to nurture a relationship usually isn't there, but the desire is there. I believe Satan tempts us with thoughts of "Everybody has friends, but you."
3. Comparison: This one is a real trap for mothers. There is nothing like being with other mothers and your little one just doesn't quite compare. I remember how well Dominic knew his saints and we attended a boy's club. The leader of the club asked the boys which was their favorite saint. I pridefully thought he would belt out some awesome saint and guess what he said. WINNIE THE POOH. Yes, you heard me. Winnie the Pooh. He knew well he wasn't a saint, so why did he say that?? That was awesome!
I recall another incident when the kids entered their first track meet. I was so excited to see them run and compete. Due to the fact that this was our first athletic event with the kids, I didn't expect much, but also knew they would do great because John and I are athletic peeps. Wrong again. ALL of our kids got DEAD last and some even cried while running. Wow. I was so taken aback by my reaction. All the way to the track meet, I am saying the usual "Do your best." Well, they had the time of their lives while running their little hearts out. I remember Dominic thinking he got first place (he really got last). He came up to me smiling and said, "Looks like we bought the right shoes, I won my race." gulp. What is wrong with me? Snap out of it. I am smiling at him, but my stomach wants to throw up. I was so embarrassed. I learned so much about myself that day. It was such a day of growth. Here I was thinking that all we want from them was their best. That is exactly what they gave us. I really had to do some soul searching on that one. Once again, I was Pridefully comparing. So, off to the confessional I went, and began again.
Mothers are CONSTANTLY comparing, sizing up, and gauging their child because really it is reflection upon how well WE are doing as their mother. There is no other gauge of our efforts than to see how they compare to others. What a terrible trap! It stifles so much joy and robs us of seeing the individuality of each child and helping them progress into whom God made them to be not who God made them to be like as in other kids their age. Comparison leads to discontentment and anxiousness. It makes my heart unsettled and needy. One of satan's titles is "The King of Immediacy." Meaning, we must fix it now, do something about it now because our child might be left behind.
4. Boredom:
The monotony of our work leads to boredom. We say the same things over and over, do the same things over and over, clean the same things over and over. I mention this only because I think women begin to feel bored and start looking for fulfillment outside of the home when in reality it is just part of the job description. The more we can be distracted from our homes, the more our home life will start to fall apart. The discipline of the monotony is so good for our souls. It is refining and purifying. God purifies us through motherhood. At times, I am very aware that I really am not a key factor in this relationship only God is using these circumstances of the every day to get my soul to heaven. When I separate the two, I am free. When I realize that it is God who is parenting them, not I, I am free. He is using me in this relationship to work out my bumps and bruises. Boredom is part of the job, but the answer to this emotion is not outside of the home. It is a shifting of the thoughts and passions realizing how good all the emotions are for our soul. We can go deeper into union with Him.
5. Just can't keep up/ Just don't add up
We are usually blessed for our own good and humility with a friend who seemingly "just has it together." The kind that every thing they do from their kids, their dogs, their grass, their soap dispensers, their meals, everything just goes well and has an extra little fairy glimmer to it. We, on the other hand, are so proud of ourselves for making our bed this morning, showering and even applying a layer of eyeshadow. Awesome. They usually arrive at our doorstep by 8:30 dressed, all their housework is completed and were just in the neighborhood "dropping off fresh cinnamon rolls" because, and they "can't stay long" because their yoga class starts in 30 minutes. Most days like this, I see God winking at me. Days like this also make me reflect upon who He made me to be and see my own gifts and not compare. Some things just are. I was tempted for a long time with the thought that if I just stayed up late enough to prepare for our homeschooling days everything would go smoothly. I would then be so hard on myself for wanting time to just be with John, or go to be early, or sleep in later than I should. My Aunt told me to stop that immediately. She told me that we can't forget our humanness. We are not robots and are not made to be robots. Don't fall into the temptations of pushing harder.
Once again, I cheer you on! Nothing is more consoling to know that what we are feeling is normal. After I realize what is normal, I then begin to move forward past the emotion. Isn't that all we are looking for? Here's to the reaching of our full potential as an individual mother designed by God to parent these specific children all in the realm of eternity! What freedom!
I read this quote today that said in perfectly for me:
"I wished to have many children so that I could raise them for Heaven." St. Zelie
Friday, February 18, 2011
6 months!
Happy Half Birthday to my baby girl!!!!!!!!!
Where does the time go? I just want time to slow down...
Here we are at her baptism when she was just a week old.
Today she is 6 months. I am so proud of her!
Where does the time go? I just want time to slow down...
Here we are at her baptism when she was just a week old.
Today she is 6 months. I am so proud of her!
Monday, February 14, 2011
My little Valentine
I had a great Valentine's Day. Lucy and I spent the day together doing all sorts of things we went to the abortion mill and protested today. I forgot to take picture but it really was the sweetest thing. On the way there Lucy just kicked and kicked her legs in her stroller today. It was lovely to see her enjoy the warm air and be so carefree with those little kicks. I would stop and check on her as we walked along and she would just grin at me with a chin full of drool, so cute. While we were there at the Mill Lucy had a toddler trying to kiss her tossies while she was in the stroller. She kept letting out her deep belly laugh which just melts my heart. She just loves to see babies. It's one of the only times I see her really have a long laugh with out Dh and I provoking her to belt it out :)
Anyways, this evening Dh and I watched the movie Life as We Know It...has anyone else seen that movie? I don't know if its just that we prayed so long to have a baby, or if it's the bottle of champagne I devoured tonight but I am a mess after watching that movie. I just cried and cried tonight during the movie thinking about if Lucy was left in someone else' care for the rest of her life.
It's funny how when I married my husband I thought I could never love anyone more than him. Now that I have Lucy I feel Like God has opened my heart even more to love more deeply that it hurts. I don't really know how to explain this other than I love her so much that I would give my life to protect her. She is everything to me. As much as motherhood is so incredibly hard at times. And I cry because I am still selfish and want "me" time and a break not to take care of anyone or anything but just to shut my brain off and just to veg at times...to even contemplate things being differently than what they are and not having her, a part of me, in my life I just can't even imagine life any differently now that I have her.
Motherhood is hard! It's a sacrifice. It's a dying to self. It weakens me only to teach me how much stronger I can be. It's everything I hoped it would be and much more.
I am sorry to think of those poor girls today that were entering Planned Parenthood. They are ignorant of the gift that is dwelling within them. That gift is defenseless and needs protecting. It's just breaks my heart!
This movie for some reason really helped me to contemplate that my little Lucy is a gift from God that I am truly grateful and unworhty to be her parent. She is my little Valentine today :)
If it weren't for all the champagne tonight I don't think I would be so open about my feelings...
Here is a picture of Lucy today with her first Valentine from Mommy and Daddy. A book: Guess How Much I Love you. She just loves to be read to :)
Anyways, this evening Dh and I watched the movie Life as We Know It...has anyone else seen that movie? I don't know if its just that we prayed so long to have a baby, or if it's the bottle of champagne I devoured tonight but I am a mess after watching that movie. I just cried and cried tonight during the movie thinking about if Lucy was left in someone else' care for the rest of her life.
It's funny how when I married my husband I thought I could never love anyone more than him. Now that I have Lucy I feel Like God has opened my heart even more to love more deeply that it hurts. I don't really know how to explain this other than I love her so much that I would give my life to protect her. She is everything to me. As much as motherhood is so incredibly hard at times. And I cry because I am still selfish and want "me" time and a break not to take care of anyone or anything but just to shut my brain off and just to veg at times...to even contemplate things being differently than what they are and not having her, a part of me, in my life I just can't even imagine life any differently now that I have her.
Motherhood is hard! It's a sacrifice. It's a dying to self. It weakens me only to teach me how much stronger I can be. It's everything I hoped it would be and much more.
I am sorry to think of those poor girls today that were entering Planned Parenthood. They are ignorant of the gift that is dwelling within them. That gift is defenseless and needs protecting. It's just breaks my heart!
This movie for some reason really helped me to contemplate that my little Lucy is a gift from God that I am truly grateful and unworhty to be her parent. She is my little Valentine today :)
If it weren't for all the champagne tonight I don't think I would be so open about my feelings...
Here is a picture of Lucy today with her first Valentine from Mommy and Daddy. A book: Guess How Much I Love you. She just loves to be read to :)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Temporary Change
I am not sure if this is going to be temporary or not but we moved Lucy to her crib at night. Last night was her third night sleeping in it through the night. Every night I have cried because I miss having her right next to me. She doesn't seem to mind being in her crib as far as I can tell. Lucy is used to sleeping in it during her nap times but I just HATE not having her next to me during the night. I miss waking up and seeing her sleeping peacefully next to me or seeing her raise her head and look at me and smile. I get choked up just thinking about it. I know this isn't any situation that has to be permanent but I also don't want to be changing my mind back and forth and moving her from one bed to the next since it is not fair to her. So far though she seems to be sleeping better and so do I...(I think). If she wakes during the night and wants to play for an hour then she can and I can't hear her nearly as well as having her right next to me so there is a better chance of me getting more sleep if she is refusing to sleep. last night though she slept after her 12:30am feeding until 6:15am. I woke up and was shocked! I even asked Dh if he had heard her at all during the night because I never did. I guess she must have just been very tired from a day of just having cat naps but still I feel GREAT this morning after having that much sleep in one night.
I am not sure if we're going to keep her in her crib or not but at the moment it seems to be working.
I have so many mixed feelings about having her sleep in the crib away from me. Tell me I am not crazy but I keep thinking what if this is the only baby I am ever able to have and now this phase is over and I will never have it again... After dealing with infertility I feel like I am full of "what if's". Like what if this is going to be the last time for this or that, etc. Does anyone else ever think this way. I guess that is why I am telling myself it is not permanent her sleeping in her crib so that if I just can't handle it then I'll move her back next to me at night.
On a lighter note Lucy is getting so big and changing so much. She is about 5 1/2 months now and weighs about 20 Ibs.! I am still only nursing her and will probably do so for the next couple of months since we both love it so much. Yesterday morning Dh picked her up out of her crib and brought her to bed with us in the morning while I was still waking up. Lucy reached out and put her hands on both our faces. It was so precious to see her explore our faces with her chubby hands. Oh my goodness I just love her so much!
********Updated********
I moved Lucy back to my room last night and she woke up to play again only an hour and half after nursing. She was up for an hour.I moved her to her crib after that and she slept really well. Could the problem be that she sleeps better in her crib? Her co-sleep is MUCH firmer...Is it because her nursery is darker and my room is a bit brighter, or can she smell that I am there next to her and that wakes her up? I am pulling my hair out over this because I want to do attachment parenting with her but were both not sleeping as well side by side right now...UGH!
I am not sure if we're going to keep her in her crib or not but at the moment it seems to be working.
I have so many mixed feelings about having her sleep in the crib away from me. Tell me I am not crazy but I keep thinking what if this is the only baby I am ever able to have and now this phase is over and I will never have it again... After dealing with infertility I feel like I am full of "what if's". Like what if this is going to be the last time for this or that, etc. Does anyone else ever think this way. I guess that is why I am telling myself it is not permanent her sleeping in her crib so that if I just can't handle it then I'll move her back next to me at night.
On a lighter note Lucy is getting so big and changing so much. She is about 5 1/2 months now and weighs about 20 Ibs.! I am still only nursing her and will probably do so for the next couple of months since we both love it so much. Yesterday morning Dh picked her up out of her crib and brought her to bed with us in the morning while I was still waking up. Lucy reached out and put her hands on both our faces. It was so precious to see her explore our faces with her chubby hands. Oh my goodness I just love her so much!
********Updated********
I moved Lucy back to my room last night and she woke up to play again only an hour and half after nursing. She was up for an hour.I moved her to her crib after that and she slept really well. Could the problem be that she sleeps better in her crib? Her co-sleep is MUCH firmer...Is it because her nursery is darker and my room is a bit brighter, or can she smell that I am there next to her and that wakes her up? I am pulling my hair out over this because I want to do attachment parenting with her but were both not sleeping as well side by side right now...UGH!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Help! I need sleep and so does Lucy!!!! (ADVICE WANTED)
Although Lucy sleeps in a co-sleeper next to me and not in a crib, I think this image says it all :)
Help! I need sleep and so does Lucy!!!!
Advice wanted:
Lucy has been waking up at either 2:30 am and 4:30am for an 1 1/2 hours at a time wanting to play... this is not counting the other times during the night she is up to nurse. Any suggestions how to get her to sleep more during the night? She is about 5 1/2 months now. Suggestions are welcome :) How do you get your baby to sleep through the night or at least longer periods of sleep through the night?
She used to go to bed at about 7:30pm wake at about 2:00am then up for the day at 6:00am and start her day. Now for example she is asleep at 7:00pm, up at 11:30pm nurse, 12:30pm nurse, 2:00am nurse and diaper change (in the dark), 4:40am - 6:00am wanting to play. I nursed her twice and then she finally fell asleep with me bounce her and rocking her. Up at 7:30am to start the day.
She has progressively gotten worse at sleeping since about 4 1/2 months. Does this have to do with teething???? I am so tired;( Luckily she is a good napper during the day, which why wouldn't she be after be up so often at night.
How do you other mom's get your babies to sleep?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A new little hobby
Finally changed my blog page, woo-hoo!!!
I have been figuring out how to use my camera lately. Poor Lucy has had the camera in her face for the last couple of days. I am tired of all my pictures looking blah.
I would love to get a really nice camera because some of these blogs I see where the pictures are just gorgeous make me despise my camera more and more. Until I am able to get a new one I figured I should probably learn to use the one I have, haha!
Here are a few that I like best...
These two are of my twin sister and my Sweet Pea
Now I am off to bed...sweet dreams :)
I have been figuring out how to use my camera lately. Poor Lucy has had the camera in her face for the last couple of days. I am tired of all my pictures looking blah.
I would love to get a really nice camera because some of these blogs I see where the pictures are just gorgeous make me despise my camera more and more. Until I am able to get a new one I figured I should probably learn to use the one I have, haha!
Here are a few that I like best...
These two are of my twin sister and my Sweet Pea
Now I am off to bed...sweet dreams :)
Monday, January 17, 2011
NaProTechnology promoted!
Yeh, I just love reading articles like this one!
It is really a breath of fresh air to read an article about infertility referring to NaProTechnology instead of IVF.
Thank you Dr. Hilgers :)
It is really a breath of fresh air to read an article about infertility referring to NaProTechnology instead of IVF.
Thank you Dr. Hilgers :)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Lucy and her stroller
Lucy has never liked her stroller. I tried putting her in it for test drives around the house. At three months I attempted taking her around the block in it with no success. But today finally at a nearly five months Dh and I took her for a walk to S.tarbucks. The walk was wonderful! I think I see a new future for the stroller us :)
Clearly we are proud parents!
P.s. After 6 weeks of having a broken down car it is finally fixed thanks to my Dh and FIL. I am doing a happy dance right now!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Afternoon beer
I was up at 5:30am with Lucy. I had to walk a mile to the bank with a 19 Ib. baby in my arms (she hates her stroller)...
Who cares if my house looks like it exploded and my Father-in-law is coming to town to visit. I just can't make things look perfect today.
Lucy is napping. Time to kick my feet up!!!!
It is time for an afternoon Guiness and some Grey's Anatomy :) Shh! My guilty pleasure!
Who cares if my house looks like it exploded and my Father-in-law is coming to town to visit. I just can't make things look perfect today.
Lucy is napping. Time to kick my feet up!!!!
It is time for an afternoon Guiness and some Grey's Anatomy :) Shh! My guilty pleasure!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Feeling like blah...
I know I don't post very often anymore and it is probably because I don't know where to start . I feel like I need to catch up with my life but that certainly isn't going to happen any time soon.
So let me start from today. I feel like blah. I have a cold and Lucy is still getting over her cold. She has been waking up lately (for the past week) 4-5 times a night. It is killing me. I started going to bed at 9:30pm so I can keep up with getting up at night but I have insominia lately so I just lie there awake anxious that she is going to wake up soon. I am so wiped out during the day and then I can't handle the stress of just everyday life because I am TIRED! I feel like I sound like a BIG BABY. and I know this is probably just a phase Lucy is going through but this is a hard phase right now. I think she is teething and this is causing her to wake up. She is always looking for her hand during the night to chew and and then she bites her finger and cries. She is even biting me now nursing at night or during the day. Luckily no teeth yet so it doesn't hurt to bad, but it does hurt, ouch! While I am complaining I'll add I have an ingrown to nail that has been killing me for a month now. I am embarrassed to say I have one but I do and now I have to go to the doctors for it. I went to the doctors yesterday and left Lucy home with my mom. It was a frustrating appointment. At the most I thought I would be gone 1 1/2 hours but I was at the doctors for 3 hours and finally I was so emotional about leaving Lucy that long that I just put my coat on and left the doctors office. I didn't even get to be seen because the wait was so crazy long, ugh! I missed Lucy so badly and was dying to nurse her that I just knew as soon as the doctor came in to see me I would have been a crying mess so that is the reason I left.
So, this is my tangent post of complaints for now and believe it or not I have tons more but I need to just stop griping now and probably try taking a nap so I can cope with this rainy day. Sorry for being so negative...
Can I blame my bad mood on hormones???
So let me start from today. I feel like blah. I have a cold and Lucy is still getting over her cold. She has been waking up lately (for the past week) 4-5 times a night. It is killing me. I started going to bed at 9:30pm so I can keep up with getting up at night but I have insominia lately so I just lie there awake anxious that she is going to wake up soon. I am so wiped out during the day and then I can't handle the stress of just everyday life because I am TIRED! I feel like I sound like a BIG BABY. and I know this is probably just a phase Lucy is going through but this is a hard phase right now. I think she is teething and this is causing her to wake up. She is always looking for her hand during the night to chew and and then she bites her finger and cries. She is even biting me now nursing at night or during the day. Luckily no teeth yet so it doesn't hurt to bad, but it does hurt, ouch! While I am complaining I'll add I have an ingrown to nail that has been killing me for a month now. I am embarrassed to say I have one but I do and now I have to go to the doctors for it. I went to the doctors yesterday and left Lucy home with my mom. It was a frustrating appointment. At the most I thought I would be gone 1 1/2 hours but I was at the doctors for 3 hours and finally I was so emotional about leaving Lucy that long that I just put my coat on and left the doctors office. I didn't even get to be seen because the wait was so crazy long, ugh! I missed Lucy so badly and was dying to nurse her that I just knew as soon as the doctor came in to see me I would have been a crying mess so that is the reason I left.
So, this is my tangent post of complaints for now and believe it or not I have tons more but I need to just stop griping now and probably try taking a nap so I can cope with this rainy day. Sorry for being so negative...
Can I blame my bad mood on hormones???
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)